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Replies to '07/31 Strung Out!'
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May 7, 2007, 10:16 am PDT
 Quote From: jenmcfaddin My ex-husband and I have been addicted for more than 10 years to meth and pot. We were married for 6 1/2 years when I learned that he had cheated on me and then lied about it for several years. His excuse for cheating was his addiction! So I stopped using and tried to straighten out my life. I ended up filing for divorce 3 months later. When I was 6 months into being clean, my son was at our home with a sitter when the law showed up and took him away from me. My ex has a very long rap sheet for drugs and he also is very wealthy and the county we live in hates us. I fought for a 1 1/2 in juvenile court to get my son back with me but did not succeed, my parents now have custody of him. It has been almost 3 years since they took my son from me. I still and always will battle my addiction! My ex and I are living together again, I still have hope that he too can stop using and I am trying to get hm too every day. He has a son also who is 16 years old. Just a couple weeks ago he was riding around with some of his friends and they got pulled over, his friend was driving without a license and another one had some pot on him. They all went to juvie! He stayed there for more than a week before the judge let him out on very strict orders to follow. I'm worried that he will not make this 6 month probation period, he is too much like his father. He has a piss-pour additude about it all for one. I just try to think possitive about it all and hope for the best! I would love nothing more than to have my son back with me. My parents and I do not get along, never have! They don't like my ex and have made several comments to people that as long as I am with him they could care less about me! He is my son's father! Neither one of us ever put him in danger! Yes we used drugs but not around him, I would not allow anyone to even mention drugs in front of him or they were out the door! Any money that I had saved up is gone from paying lawyer fees to get him back! I can't afford another lawyer and every lawyer that I have talked to wants $2000 up front to just tell me if I stand a chance getting custody again! I worry every second of every day that my son will think that I don't care about him! I cry all the time! My son is my whole entire life, he use to be such a happy kid. His eyes always sparkled and now he stays depressed. I worry that he too will start using just b/c his parents did! I would give anything in the world to have him back with me all the time! I need him just as bad as he needs me! You could almost be my daughter. Please for the life of me I don't understand how it can be ok to do drugs just because you don't do them around the kids. My daughters defense is she needs to smoke pot to calm her nerves and since she doesn't do this around her children it's no big deal. Wrong!!! The area of the home that's smoked in stinks to high heaven. Then it's on your clothes and I know the children get some of that stinch in their little lungs. Recently I picked up the boyfriend on our way to where they stay and I had to hang my head out of my window because my throat and lungs burnt so badly, not harming the children, bull !!!! Too many children life's are destroyed because of parent's drug use. They either suffer because their left in the homes trying to be the grown up or they are removed from mom & dad's they love all the while Mom and Dad justifying their drug use. I wonder what tragic thing will have happen before my daughter realizes her children or more important than pot and the boyfriend. While I still love her I hate the life she has choosen for herself and her children I fully understand your parents somewhat because those little inocent babies did not choose this and if I had those babies I could break ties with her. It's too heartbreaking to see her destroy her body all the while believing Pot is not harmful!!! Agian like my precious daughter, sounds like the man and the drug is more important than the child. |
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May 11, 2007, 8:27 pm PDT
Quote From: jenmcfaddin My ex-husband and I have been addicted for more than 10 years to meth and pot. We were married for 6 1/2 years when I learned that he had cheated on me and then lied about it for several years. His excuse for cheating was his addiction! So I stopped using and tried to straighten out my life. I ended up filing for divorce 3 months later. When I was 6 months into being clean, my son was at our home with a sitter when the law showed up and took him away from me. My ex has a very long rap sheet for drugs and he also is very wealthy and the county we live in hates us. I fought for a 1 1/2 in juvenile court to get my son back with me but did not succeed, my parents now have custody of him. It has been almost 3 years since they took my son from me. I still and always will battle my addiction! My ex and I are living together again, I still have hope that he too can stop using and I am trying to get hm too every day. He has a son also who is 16 years old. Just a couple weeks ago he was riding around with some of his friends and they got pulled over, his friend was driving without a license and another one had some pot on him. They all went to juvie! He stayed there for more than a week before the judge let him out on very strict orders to follow. I'm worried that he will not make this 6 month probation period, he is too much like his father. He has a piss-pour additude about it all for one. I just try to think possitive about it all and hope for the best! I would love nothing more than to have my son back with me. My parents and I do not get along, never have! They don't like my ex and have made several comments to people that as long as I am with him they could care less about me! He is my son's father! Neither one of us ever put him in danger! Yes we used drugs but not around him, I would not allow anyone to even mention drugs in front of him or they were out the door! Any money that I had saved up is gone from paying lawyer fees to get him back! I can't afford another lawyer and every lawyer that I have talked to wants $2000 up front to just tell me if I stand a chance getting custody again! I worry every second of every day that my son will think that I don't care about him! I cry all the time! My son is my whole entire life, he use to be such a happy kid. His eyes always sparkled and now he stays depressed. I worry that he too will start using just b/c his parents did! I would give anything in the world to have him back with me all the time! I need him just as bad as he needs me! Hi jen... you probably dont want to hear this but you should thank your parents every day for taking your son and keeping him safe. I was married to a meth addict for 8 years and I let him put me and my kids through hell for way too long. My parents were 2000 miles away and had no idea what happening to me and I was too embarrassed to tell them. The best way for you to put a smile back on your sons face is to get away from his father and get yourself clean and put your life back together so that you can finish raising him yourself. Just because your husband created your son biologically doesnt mean he is a father. Nothing (and I mean nothing) you do can make him stop using. No matter how much you love him and stick by him it wont matter in the end because the only person who can make him stop is him. I learned that the hard way. I thought that if I loved my husband enough and kept my promise to never leave him that he would get clean and sober. That is what he said he wanted. But it never happened. We went though a lot together and in the end nothing changed. 4 years after we finally divorced he got clean and sober. But he had to do it for himself...he could never do it for me or the kids. It sounds as if his son is following in his footsteps...its not his sons fault...he is just following what he has always seen as what being a man is all about. The reason that your parents have never liked your husband is because they love you! If they didnt they wouldnt care one bit about what you did with your life. If you choose to live this way it is your choice....but your son is better off out of that situation because he will definately turn out just like your husbands son if he stays and is raised with you two. It is your choice....and the only person you have control over is yourself. |
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