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Replies to '05/10 Obsessive Love: Secrets Revealed'
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May 7, 2007, 2:30 am PDT
 Quote From: kayeff Ok. This guy has some SERIOUS anxiety and stress issues. I think he is sick to do these things to his wife. He should get help. But what I don't understand is that Dr. Phil just points the finger of blam constantly at him. He completely over looks the fact that his wife has cheated twice (that he knows of). I could understand that it was a long time ago in their marriage and would overlook it and accept she has changed, but her MySpace totally changed my mind. She had suggestive photos, didn't have her husband on it, and had messages from guys with not-so-appropriate-for-someone-married photos. Why was this completely overlooked?
Anxiety and stress issues? Come on. He has serious psychosis issues and two weeks at a private hospital without a locked unit won't solve them.
You seem fixated on her but you need to stop covering for him. He is a sick puppy. I used to work on a psychiatric unit and we used to put patients on a locked ward for less than this guy is doing. We would not let them go off the ward without escorts. We made them wear pajamas and bathrobes so they wouldn't escape and hurt people. This guy is psychotic and needs to be confined in a serious setting. Maybe for months, maybe for years but it's better than a dead woman and dead kids. Whatever toxic dynamic set up between them may have exacerbated his behavior but she didn't "make him" do anything. That's a cruddy copout.
I am not willing to judge her but ask if maybe her behavior is that of escape denial stress instant gratification to heal the wound that has happened. I do not buy into for the sake of the children. I have read enough of how abusive relations affect children and their ability to find a partner. Perhaps my own childhood raises its head because these kind of tense crazy relation do such havoc on children. They are resilient and they experience awareness at every level as they grow older some numb. I am not too sure about for the sake of the children. Children need to be protected. If he is doing this to her what is he doing to her children? I am not questioning DR Phil but he must have a reason of his time frame. Too many children live in turmoil and too many knew and did nothing. I think the women has a greater chance of healing on her own and being a mother to her children without all this stress. Life is hard enough to coupe with. How are the children doing?
She needs just as much assistance as he does. Why where her friends not at the wedding? Is that isolation apparent. It is a red flag. If a man cheats it is a real task to forgive or let go. The damage is done but usually when someone cheats something is not right to begin with. If a women cheats oh Boy is she in trouble. Her needs are not being met. She is fulfilling her needs that just create more shame blame and guilt. Sex is sometimes a cover for very deep pain. A knee jerk reaction from boundaries crossed at some time. Some times it can be just a need to be loved. Not healthy but understood. I really hope that she can heal and find herself without her partner. I think it is a niece dream that he can heal but I do not see that happening any time soon. He feels bad but not bad enough to stop. She did not make him do this. I hate to see what he will do to his children if they do not do what he says. |
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