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October 1, 2005, 4:17 pm PDT
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Quote From: gebhamHi, just wanted to say again i think its incredibly...dont think brave it the right word....strong maybe better?..i think its incredibly strong of you to want to wear a tux to your prom. I think ure inspiring as a human being to be honest, the fact that you want to be yourself and arent prepared to conform to wat others may want you to do...especially when the others may be your parents.
I still find myself conforming a little to wat my parents want from me. Im completely out to them but i still do things so they dont feel uncomfortable. for example; it was there 25t wedding anniversary and i pretended to be 'friends' with my girlfriend so they wouldnt feel uncomfortable around their friends. If i were single i wouldnt have a prob not mentioning my sexuality, its not all of who i am, but the fact that ive been with my partner a yr and a bit, i really felt like i was being disrespectful to her, and to hurt her is beyond the last thing i would ever do.
Its still a bit difficult around my parents.
Any advice?
G x Thank you Gebham, your a good e-buddy.
My parents and I are very close and open. The only reason my mom says she doesnt want me to wear a tux is because shes worried about my best interests and well-being. She has said in casual talk that she wouldnt mind if I was gay as long as I was happy. But I think my mom has only had bad exsperiences with transsexuals. She had one named C.J. work with her for a while. C.J. was a black man who desperately wanted to be a woman. He had had implants and was on hormone injections. He also wore make-up and fake nails. Everyone hated him and talked about him constantly. She also knew on that went to the caf'e at Sam's (where she works) that looked really odd and everyone stared at him and mumbeled things. I think she believes that if I go on like this openly I'll be ridiculed like the elephant man and be miserable. I know the people in the south are ignorant , rude, and cruel; but if things keep up as they are I really think I might really try to commet suicide (not that it would work...) Worst part is I can't even seek counsiling because all the psycologists are booked with Katrina and Rita people. At least I can vent here when I need to... and play video games.
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