Quote From: danesmomMy son is 9 years old and recently diagnosed with ADHD. Over the years, I have been told by many people that he has respect problems. I believed it was my fault because I was not a strict displinarian with him. I wonder if his problems with respect are somehow because of his ADHD...he definitely is hyper and impulsive. Here is my issue today.
A couple of nites ago my son was outside playing and a 15 year old neighbor gave my son a wedgy which hurt him enough to make him cry. My son wrongly grabbed a broom and was going to hit this 15 year old. The 15 year old was moving a huge basketball hoop and lowered it hitting my son in the face causing my son to have a huge bump on the side of his nose, a bump on his forehead and a bruise on his cheek. The X-Ray showed a broken bone in the nose according to the DR...but the radiologist said otherwise. I was visiting a neighbor when this all took place. My son told me that he immediately fell to the ground crying and screaming and then the 15 year old's father (who was in his garage only feet away from the incident) came out because my son was crying. He told my son to GET UP and my son said SHUT UP to him because he said he was in terrible pain and was so upset he said he was going to call 911. After my son told this 39 year old man to SHUT UP (I am not saying my son was by any means right by doing so either) the 39 year old man picked up the broom and holding it like he was going to hit my son with it said "SAY IT AGAIN AND I'LL HIT YOU!"
Picture a small child screaming and crying in pain and the only adult around him that should be helping him shows him no COMPASSION, no CARE about whether he is hurt (obviously if he is crying he is hurt), no RESPECT, no REGARD. I cringe at the thought of this and I am dumbfounded at how a grown man could be so heartless, especially since he is a father.
Here is my dilema ....my friend who is 100 times more stricter with her daughter than I am with my son says that my son should apologize to the 39 year old man who threatened him. I have not made my son apologize and I will NOT!!
I believe that if children are taught respect they will learn respect and children who are forced to respect EVERYONE can be caught in tough situations because making them respect EVERY ADULT can make them EXTREMELY vulnerable which can turn out to be drastic.
Does ANYONE out there agree with me?
i certainly agree that you shouldn't let your son apologize to this man in this situation.
however, normally i would. part of him being disrespectful might be his ADHD but i also believe that how you raise him is part of it too. although he has ADHD it isn't an excuse for him to not behave. if he would be more respectful he might not get in this kind of situation so easily.
But i certainly don't mean to say, that this is his fault or something. i believe that how the 15 year old, and his father behaved is absolutely unacceptable!!!!!!!
