Quote From: marthaannaHi Suzanne in TN.
What I would advise is to let your daughter know exactly how you feel. Do not pull any punches with your feelings to be "polite" or "fair" to him. Spell out exactly what her future would be if she ended up with him, ie.: She would wake up to his face every morning, her kids would look like him, she would have to live with his decisions on everything, or fight with him about them, her kids would act like him, talk like him, and even be named after him, and if he grates her nerves now he would be grating her nerves for evermore. Point out where he lives, and how he lives and that that is what she should expect from him in the long run.Tell her she must be truthfull to herself about her feelings about him, and remember she is young and so very able to attract better. She MUST NOT CHOOSE ANYONE UNTIL SHE KNOWS HERSELF MUCH BETTER!!! And she must have the guts to tell this guy so, or accept the consequences.
Judy in IL
PS- Tell her there is no hurry to leave home, and give her all the space she needs, and help getting her on her feet. Don't let her go down the tubes without a fight!
I have let my daughter know exactly how I feel. She says he is nice to her and is just a friend. I don't mind him being just a friend but what bothers me is he seems to be her only friend and she won't put herself out there to meet more friends. I tell her that when she is at school, and has a break between classes, to hang out and study and strike up a conversation with someone. To get involved in school activities but when she has a break inbetween classes, he goes up to school to spend that time with her. I tell her she won't meet any other friends as long as he is hanging around. He makes a bad first impression because of his slppy appearance and he isn't ver smart. He thought Ann Frank was an Author living over her in our neighborhood and he was serious. . Now how funny is that and that is only a small example of the stupic remarks he makes. He claims to be abused by his stepfather. He is 20 years old and I told him he didn't have to put up with that, to get a job and move out. He makes excuses for why he can't find a job. It is just hopeless. My daughter knows how I feel but I am afraid to bad mouth him too much or it will push her away from us but I won't accept him either. It is a tough situation and I don't know what to do.
Thanks again for any suggestions.
Suzanne in TN
