it is not that they don't or won't change so much as they don't think they are doing anything wrong to begin with, thus they never seek help, and no they don't change, not in my case anyway
I could tell you stories that would make your head spin, have been through it all, the knife to the throat, the hair pulled out of my head, being called every name in the book, getting hit in the ear so hard I couldn't hear out of it for two days, he threatened to burn the house down with the kids and I in it one night and the best one of all was he would always tell me that if I left him he would line my four children up and shoot each one of them in front of me, then, me, then himself.
I stayed to keep the family unit together, kept it a secret from everyone, but as my children got a little older, they would see how their father would treat me, I didn't want them to ever think that that was normal and new that I needed to make a change but how would I do that and make sure the kids were safe while getting away?
I finally confided in two close friends, who talked me into going to a therapist, told him my long frightful story and the first thing he said to me was, what are you waiting for? for him to kill you? it hit me like a ton of bricks and from there a plan was formed on how to get away from him and at the same time keep my children safe. Those three people most likely saved my life... there is a very fine line between sane and insane and who is to say what that little something is that will put someone over the edge. Little did I know, and I can say this after the fact, that all the threats were only hot air but at the time I wasn't about to take the chance.
I have heard that in his next relationship he is still pulling some of the same stuff he did with me, he found a woman with low self esteem and she won't leave...and so , I imagine, it continues.....
