Quote From: anon_slcThe normal or neurotic couple incorporates communicative-interactive tips and interventions directed towards effective communication, conflict resolution, problem solving and enhanced intimacy. The personality-disordered marriage, even when managed with strategic skill and therapeutic acumen, too often seems impervious to change. Some of my favorite books that provide a great introduction and insight are:
Treating Borderline States in Marriage: Dealing with Oppositionalism, Ruthless Aggression, and Severe Resistance by Charles McCormack
The Narcissistic / Borderline Couple: A Psychoanalytic Perspective on Marital Treatment by Joan Lachkar
High Conflict People in Legal Disputes by Bill Eddy
How to Journal for Therapy:
http://arar.essortment.com/therapyjournali_repu.htm
There are relationships, marriages, and families that are so destructive the only option is for a person to get out. Get out with the little bit of sanity you may have remaining. As painful as it may be, make a promise to yourself to leave. Leave so that you can begin a life of healing and recovery. Leave so you can eventually learn to live a joyful, peaceful and fulfulling life.
Hope it helps!
It's hard to make a marriage work these days, and I think sometimes we should talk about the reality of how we perceive people, and I truly believe that you do not really know anyone until you've known them for 3 yrs. minimum, and some real hard facts that could prevent situations described, but of course when things aren't right and you are in any kind of destructive behavior, when there is no 2-sided conversation,LEAVE..Sometimes not so easy,it's like some addicts have felt facing going to rehab, {leaving home}, the things that you need to do first and all the excuses, and it's because throughout the verbal abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, anyone of these takes you and all the good life you thought was there, and the self esteem is ripped from your existance, leaving so low you only want him to be the person you believed in and loved and if he would just love me and be that gentle kind man I've seen periodically, and he can even get you thinking it's your fault and the guilt of that only makes you give more.... It's so hard to think that I was one of these people, not so many years ago.. I am going to be 50 yrs. old next month and I guess I have done alot of soul searching and I have battled through 4 loved ones cancer battles, including my middle daughter, stage3, my own and my Dad loosing his battle, and burying him the day b-4 I started my first chemo-therapy, and my x husband who is a dear friend and together we share our girls.,Anyway, I know by telling someone to get away doesn't help how they have little faith in finding a better life and very alone most of the time, so gathering people, resourcesto help in replacement of all things in life. It's a time when you need to have friends, for awhile maybe friends who aren't a part of you and him!!! The most important thing to tell yourself and say over and over in your daily life is, I am a good person who cares so much for everyone and I smile at the world and I like_________ and this is who I am and this is the one I look out for # 1, because I love myself first, in order to share love and by hurting another in the name of love, IS NOT LOVE. It is insecurity, guilt, disrespect, using you for...______ and why waste a thought on anyone who really does not feel the love you think. But the most important tool in helping anyone through any crisis is support, very intense support to build this brokeness.
