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Replies to '05/11 Obsessive Love: On the Run'
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May 12, 2007, 9:58 pm PDT
 Quote From: regina1 Dr. Phil there are a lot men out in the world like Jeffery. What is so ironic, I live with one. He watched the show and wasn't able to see he has the same characterics of Jeffery. Before the show aired, I informed my live in lover of this same behavior. He very jealous and controling. He constant;ly acussed me of cheating and saying that ex-boyfriend is calling me. When we go out to a restaturant and he only want my eyes on him when I'm not eating my food. But, he looks and flirts with every woman he sees. Lord forbid if a guy speak to me , he will swear I'm having sex with the guy. It doesn't matter if the guy has a woman with him. He accused me of every man that may look or speak to me. He doesn' think my uncles or male cousins should come around unless he is present. On the other hand he has been present and accuse me of some of my male relatives. When he is upset he is calling me names such as: Bit__,,whore and etc.. What stop him from the name calling so far, what name he called me I would reply' "your mama and your sisters. This is out of character for me, that said a silent pray and ask God to forgive me. An older woman told me to reply to him that and he would stop the name calling. Women is constantly calling him and he leave home and says he going over his mother or I be right back. Each time this occur one particular woman call him once he return. He exclaim she is fat and crazy. Yet, he doesn't want any male calling or visiting me unless they are my brothers. If I go to the store accussed me of dating the employees. There is a lot of Jeffery out there,. Do you like that type of treatment? |
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May 14, 2007, 11:38 pm PDT
Quote From: regina1 Dr. Phil there are a lot men out in the world like Jeffery. What is so ironic, I live with one. He watched the show and wasn't able to see he has the same characterics of Jeffery. Before the show aired, I informed my live in lover of this same behavior. He very jealous and controling. He constant;ly acussed me of cheating and saying that ex-boyfriend is calling me. When we go out to a restaturant and he only want my eyes on him when I'm not eating my food. But, he looks and flirts with every woman he sees. Lord forbid if a guy speak to me , he will swear I'm having sex with the guy. It doesn't matter if the guy has a woman with him. He accused me of every man that may look or speak to me. He doesn' think my uncles or male cousins should come around unless he is present. On the other hand he has been present and accuse me of some of my male relatives. When he is upset he is calling me names such as: Bit__,,whore and etc.. What stop him from the name calling so far, what name he called me I would reply' "your mama and your sisters. This is out of character for me, that said a silent pray and ask God to forgive me. An older woman told me to reply to him that and he would stop the name calling. Women is constantly calling him and he leave home and says he going over his mother or I be right back. Each time this occur one particular woman call him once he return. He exclaim she is fat and crazy. Yet, he doesn't want any male calling or visiting me unless they are my brothers. If I go to the store accussed me of dating the employees. There is a lot of Jeffery out there,. My ex was alot like that too. He had a definate double standard too. He felt it was OK to grab my sister or girlfriend by the boob yet at my university graduation, he actually booted me in the butt in the middle of the dance floor -- his "excuse"? He "didn't like the guy". The strange thing is, I didn't like the guy either and ex knew it. He was too cowardly to boot the man so I was targetted. To this day, I suffered chronic pain from the damage he did to my lower spinal column.
Another time, at a New Year's ball, a creepy neighbor kept asking me repeatedly to dance. Each time I refused. After the 3rd time, my ex should have taken him aside & told him to stop harassing me. Did he do that? NOPE! He waited until we got home and then went aboard me because el creepo had asked me to dance 17 times! Yes, he counted them & did nothing. Is it any wonder that those are the only 2 dances, apart from weddings, that I ever attended with him in our years of marriage?
As jealous as he was, he didn't accuse me of infidelity as, quite frankly, I don't think he was even able to comtemplate it. However, he sure tried to best to isolate me from family & friends -- many times, about 10 before leaving to a BINGO game with my Mom, he would suddenly get a "headache" and was unable to tend to the wee ones.
Of course, he targetted my self-esteem too. On our 7th anniversary, I put on the nightie I had worn on our honeymoon -- after 7 years and 2 youngsters, I still weighed 102 pounds and had been told many times (not by him though) that I was attractive. But regardless of my looks or shape, he should have been flattered when I took the time & effort to "pretty" myself up & do a slow dance for him while standing on our bed. His comment? "I hope you don't think you're sexy cuz your not!". What kind of creature says that?
When he grabbed my sister & friend, I laid him out in lavender & told him the next time he did it, I would grab each & every man who entered our home by the patoobies. He never did it again.
I could go on -- and on -- but I won't.
I suppose I don't need to tell you that your man is NOT going to change and I urge you to start planning a safe exit & wish you the very best in the process.
Thank you for sharing your awful situation. Please seek the supports you need to put this dud in your past.
I still celebrate the day I finally was rid of him. Even though I am now very happily married, I would far sooner be alone than to be tied to that boor.
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