Replies to 'Balancing Work and Family'

Hope someone can help, I feel so lost and useless.  I am 55 years old.  I was a computer programmer analyst for 25 years, until 2002.  Then I was laid off and because our daughter took up with an abusive boyfriend I stayed home and didn't whole-heartedly search for a job.  My husband was making good money and we could afford it.  He encouraged me to stay home.  Said I was needed there. Then my parents began showing their age (they are in their 90's), so my time off was extended to help them.  Then my husband's employer GM began stumbling.  Overtime was cut, rumors flew.  I was told the IT atmosphere was still pretty dreadful so I took a part time office job 2 years after my initial layoff so I could be flexible for my parents needs. Now 2 years after that my husband is saying I need to find a "real" full time job where my earnings are back up closer to my pre-time-off job.  I am trying, but this field seems so unforgiving about returning.  I understand GM is cutting everything.  He had no raises for 4 years.  Last year he did get one for 4%, but it didn't mean much with the rising health care costs.  We are making less because of that.  They even changed that on us this year so we have to pay a deductible before we get any help on our medical bills.  I stopped going to regular check ups and stopped my medications because we could no longer afford them.  He makes too much to qualify for any help.  He has been with GM for 15 years and dislikes the thought of leaving and maybe losing his pension at our age.  The atmosphere at the plant is dismal.  They are not part of the larger UAW so everything they do waits for the "god" of GM's unions which will be in contract talks this summer.  Most believe the plant will end up being closed at the end of the year, including upper management.  My husband is a supervisor there and he can't get the union workers to do their jobs.  It is a fight every night.  He brings home frustration and disappointment every night.  He works second shift so we don't see each other very often either. 

I have MANY fears sbout my job search.  I was never outgoing and hate every minute of job hunting.  I have NO self esteem when it comes to my job skills.  I currently work at a $12 an hour job.  At the height of my career in IT I was making $32 dollars an hour.  I feel like a dinosaur and just want to curl into a ball and hide from life.  My parents don't make helping them easy.  Especially mom, she constantly acts like a spoiled child wanting everything her way and even demanding it.  It takes a LOT of energy and time to help them out.  Everyone says I should enjoy the time I have with them.  That isn't easy.  Now looking for a full time job I wonder how I can juggle it any longer.  I don't even know how to put together a resume that will get attention and how to address the time off issue.  I can probably explain it in an interview but I never get that far.  I would definitely put it on a job application.  I feel they see the time off and are turned off.  Managers don't want to "retrain" someone who isn't currently in the industry  I know I don't need retraining.  I don't know where the news and reporters get their information that employers are hotty looking for older workers, and how women that have taken time off for their families can easily find a job again in their old careers.  I get the feeling that all that is against me and my age only makes it worse.  I am tired of uphill battles.