Replies to 'Too Much Discipline?'
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May 18, 2007, 10:00 am PDT
 Quote From: caholloway Thank you for your reply. Im some ways I think he is over punished too and makes me sad but there are so many other issues to the story. His real dad has been doing drugs for a long time and even this past xmas day, my son walked in on him doing a line of crushed narcotics. My son thought it was cocaine. His dad explained how this is a quick effect for his pain. But if the kids were to crush tylenol or even something really bad and snort it for a headache or such...they could die. Major issue. So this is another issue on the table. So we have severity here. Took him to court but we still have to share custody and he even gets visitation still. I do not want my children to be like this. His father also quites jobs every other week. I want my children to be sucessful and out of my house before 30. Not tring to be mean, but that's a reality. My children are also latche key kids. The are very well educated on survival and fire and medical issues and taking care of themselves. They are of higher maturity than most 10 and 7 y.o.. They are more like 9 and 12 or 13 y.o. They can even cook and clean and house work...laundry, dishwasher, cleans the bathroom, and cutting grass. Even pulling weeds. My 10 y.o. even works on a farm occasionally for cash. This of course is someone we know and he likes it and its fun to him. These are not chores either. They do these jobs at free will and make a little cash here and there. We pay as they do a job...just like work. They save for vacation or to just go to the store for a new game. So with this information do you still think a week or two is enough. Maybe the paragraphs should be decreased. Yesterday, I showed up at the house when they did not know I was coming. My son was watching tv and had been playing playstation. This was within the first 25 minutes of being off the bus. He can't even follow the simple rules of no tv. Any suggestions. I don't ever want to be known as abusing my children. I just don't want them to go the wrong path. 10 is too soon for this. I accept all replies even if I disagree. There maybe a solution I have not found myself. Thank you in advance. this is indeed a more serioud situation, than i knew form you first story, but i still think punishing him so severe isn't the solution. because his father is doing drugs you should clearly explain to him wat effect it has on him, and i don't know how his father looks, but maybe you could let him see a really bad junkie sometime, so he'll know what he'll become if he does drugs. because he has an example that does drugs, you have to make him understand it, not just say you can't. It's like they can't curse in one house, but they can in another, then it's very hard to keep them from cursing. only this is clearly more serious. the tv issue might be because he is overpunished, or because he is just a kid. my stepson is 9, and he is of pretty hihg maturity too, but he's still a kid, so you shouldn't be treating him as an adult too much. in some things you'll probably see that he is just 10. i still don't know how long the punishment started, but i really think that making him understand the consequences is more important than the punishment, because he will have to make the decision on his own in the end, and if he doesn't know why he shouldn't do it, and he doesn't agree, he will still be doing it, but maybe in the house of your ex. so i think two weeks punishment will be enough, and some pictures of a film of how the body of a junkie looks like, i don't know if its something like the lunges of osmeone who smokes, but if it is so, you should ask your doctor if he can arrange something, and let him see a junkie or something. i'm sure he doesn't want to end up like them. like this, he can make his own choice, which will probably be the right one. it might shock him, but that is really what you need, cause a ten year old, can't really see the consequences himself. |
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