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September 28, 2005, 9:20 am PDT
Be honest with her
Quote From: theta1I HAVE THIS FRIEND THAT I'VE ONLY KNOWN FOR 6 MONTHS. WE'VE GONE TO MOVIES AND HAD LUNCHES & DINNERS TOGETHER. LATELY SHE HAS BEEN STAND OFFISH. SHE DOESN'T RETURN PHONE CALLS, IF WE TALK IT'S MOSTLY ME THAT CALLS, SHE DOESN'T REPLY TO E-MAILS. I DON'T WANT TO END THE FRIENDSHIP, BECAUSE I KNOW SHE'S GOING THROUGH A REAL STRESSFULL TIME HERSELF. DO I HAVE TOXIC FRIENDSHIP OR AM I MAKING ABIG DEAL OUT OF NOTHING. WHAT DO I DO? Call up your friend and level with her in a kind way. I don't know what kind of stress she's under, but you can start out by saying that you miss the friendship although you understand she's stressed. Is there anything you can do? Listen carefully to her reply. If it sounds like she's grateful for the concern, I would give her the space she needs to get through whatever it is. Or she may take you up on your offer of help or advice. If you feel she's giving you a brush-off, ask her if she doesn't want to be friends anymore. But listen carefully to the replies, sometimes others don't know how to break things off and will drag it out. Or, they don't know how to ask for support in times of stress. For your part, being honest and up front will give them the opportunity to do the same. And you won't sit around wondering and assuming.
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