Quote From: kcooperHere I am a 29-yr. old mother of 4 BOYS ages, 2,8,10 and 12...and finally a few days ago I admitted for the 1st time ever that being a Mother is hard. I work days/husband nights, it seems like I have 4 2yr. olds b/c I have to repeat everything at least 2x. I make lists, remind them, everything except do their chores and homework....yet they still don't get it...It's frustrating b/c I am a person who likes to play, laugh, SCRAPBOOK, yet I feel like I am loosing myself, my identity. Yes, we talk, and very often, but usually it ends with me yelling and them feeling badly...Right now I am exercising and praying for patience and strength...wondering are they just Lazy or being boys?
I have a feeling you are a mom who "does too much". Excluding the two year old, try letting your older three experience the consequences of being lazy and forgetful in the real world. They are old enough. Maybe they forget an assignment and get in trouble with the teacher. And, perhaps if they get poor grades, you can take away a privelege, like no sleepovers at Jon's house, or no extra-curricular activities until grades improve.
It sounds like they are too used to you being their "brains"- memory, reminders and day planner, etc.
And with the home issues, stop yelling, but instead think about all the things that irk you about their behaviors. THEN, think of each boy and what they would be devastated at if they lost a privelege (Maybe one son loves video games, maybe the other likes something else.)
If they ignore you, do not yell. Just immediately enforce the consequences. No TV, or whatever, for X time. And STICK to it. With 4 boys and no father around during the day, you have to play hardball and earn back your respect. If they think they can walk all over Mom, they might. I don't think it's malicious or anything, but kids, even good ones, will often go to the "pushover" parent to get their wants gratified or get away with something.
And don't feel guilty about administering consequences. THEY did it to THEMSELVES, when they mouthed off or neglected their responsibilities.
