Replies to 'Ending Toxic Friendships'

 
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Relaxed

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quiet
September 28, 2005, 5:41 pm PDT

The ball's in her court.

Quote From: theta1

I'VE ALREADY TALKED TO HER ABOUT THE SITUATION , AND SHE TELLS ME THAT WE ARE STILL FRIENDS. I'VE ASKED IF I HAVE DONE ANYTHING TO MAKE HER MAD, AND SHE TELLS ME NO AND GETS DEFENSIVIVE TELLING ME  I HAVE AN ISSUE WITH BEING TO NEEDY. SHE SAYS SHE DOESN'T LIKE HAVING TO RE-ASSURE ME AND THAT I SHOULD TRUST THAT SHE IS MY FRIEND.  I DON'T WANT TO BE AGRESSIVE OR PUSHY. SHE'S  A GOOD PERSON AND FUN TO HANG OUT WITH. I KNOW SHE'S HAD BAD RELATIONSHIPS IN THE PAST, AND I THINK BECAUSE I'M A GUY SHE DOESN'T REALLY TRUST ME YET. I'VE TOLD HER THAT I HAVE NO INTIMATE FEELINGS AND ONLY WANT TO BE HER FRIEND, BUT I DON'T THINK SHE REALLY BELIEVES ME. I ALSO KNOW SHE DOESN'T LIKE FOR PEOPLE TO "INVADE HER PERSONAL SPACE", AND I'VE MADE THE MISTAKE OF GIVING HER A FRIENDLY HUG EVERY ONCE IN AWHILE, AND SHE HAS RE-AFFIRMED ME THAT SHE "DOESN'T LIKE TO BE TOUCHED". HAVE I CROSSED A BOUNDRY WITH NO CHANCE OF RETURNING TO A NORMAL FRIENDSHIP? IS THERE HOPE THAT SHE'LL FULLY TRUST ME?
 All you can really do at this point is to give her her space. You may have hit the nail on the head when you said she may not trust that you don't have an ulterior motive because she's had bad relationships in the past. Let it rest for now, that may be exactly what she needs, and if  you give her that she will value you for it.
 


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