Quote From: jtfjmjrI was adopted by my dad at the age of 18. I have been searching for my bio-father since before then. My Mom refuses to give me any information about him. She went so far as to lie about his real name for over 30 years. I have medical and personal reasons I want ot find this man. I have children who I can't give a complete medical history for, because my Mom wants to protect HER privacy. She says that I DON'T HAVE A RIGHT to know who he is. Sorry, I didn't mean to get bitter. I just want to know who he is. I don't want to interupt his life. I don't want to cause him problems. I don't really want to hurt my Mom, but I need this and she doesn't seem to get it or care about it. I have no information. I do know who my brother's bio-dad was, I'm wondering if I find him if he can tell me who my bio-dad was. Anyway thanks for letting me vent.
Misty
Dearest Misty,
I want to tell you that even though your mother has issues YOU DO HAVE THE RIGHT to know who he is.. She is still beating herself up and so is doing it to him also. She is probably still hurting and so doesn't know how to ''get over it' as everyone else wants her to. Have you thought that the reason that she doesn't want to tell you is that she may NOT know who he is or thinks there may be more than one person who could be and she is ashamed? You say you know who your brothers biodad is? If he is in your brothers life why not ask your brother to feel him out and that way you are not putting yourself in the middle. Someties siblings can get us answers that would not be given to us. Also if you are close and he says that his dad will or cannot help then maybe the two of you could contact agencies in your area such as Concerned United Birthparents or some counseling agencies (there are mental health providers that can put you in touch with other professionals} Hope some of my suggestions were helpful. i am a birthmother and I would love to find my son but do not want to intrude. I can be reached at bogiesmoms2007@yahoo.com if there is anything else I can help with please let me know. I care.
God Bless you on your journey.
