Replies to 'Step-Parenting'

Quote From: michala49

So , is the child still visiting the mother. I have to think by the numbers you gave the child is about 7. That is what a lot of seven year olds do. You say you have younger children that need your attention more now. Maybe she is sensing that. If she has been with you all this time and since she was two I am surprised she has a sense of her mother and father's relationship. She was the baby for a while and now you have two more. I would think this is normal child behavoir not STEP child behavoir. The only difference I see is that she may have her mother filling her mind with thoughts. Spend time with her. You and her. Have her father keep the smaller children and you two go shopping and to a movie. Spend the day doing things she would like to do. She probably thinks she is losing her " mother" YOU. She may be making a claim on the other parent because she feels this way. I was a daddy's little girl and well that is special. I  had step fathers and I loved them all. I had three. My dad used to say, " well you have a new dad now !" and I would say, " I only have one daddy, I have a step father" They did not try to be my father. My mother disciplined me. They were my friend.  It is different but you two should be talking and he should be supporting you in that he is helping with the punishment if any,  Seven year olds can be tough. It will pass. MY step daughter was  seven when she came . Her  mother died. She did the same. She needed to know she was loved. When I had a boy, she felt left out. I spent time. OH there came a time I said, you need to get over it. She was actually nine when he was born. They are closer than imaginable. I am her mother. She knows and remembers her mother, but she realizes I am the one that raised her, loved her and we are a family.  A child can love both you know. I hope you do not ever let her hear you talk about her mother in a negative way.. Children have enough to cope with. Let her love you both . At least try to say positive. If she needs info on why her mother cant be with her or they are not, let her prince tell her. Don't let him make you the heavy.  Wait till the teen years..Mother /Daughters in many cases have problems when they try to grow up and I have not seen much difference then bio and step. I think we tend to add the step and they feel it.. It is my other child.