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Replies to '06/01 Home Wreckers'
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May 28, 2007, 7:49 am PDT
 Quote From: twox2mns0 Don't be insensitive to his daughters' needs regardless of his Ex. His daughter was there before you, and he needs you to be supportive of his situation, not set ultimatums. How can you expect him to abandon his daughter and take himself away from her to set boundary lines with his Ex that would please you?? It would traumatize his child and further enrage his ex-wife. Bi-polar or not. When he said your reactions are causing him stress why are you not listening to him? He means it, and it's not against you. You're making him choose, and how can a loving father and a loving boyfriend (your description) not be in a dilemma over that? Would you settle for that concerning your own children if you were in his shoes?? I doubt it. Suck it up...respond to what's in his child's best interest or get out of their lives. He might get over losing you, but he won't put his daughter in the position of losing him. She's only six, and you're 46. You're pitting yourself against a child, not the Ex. The Ex will be rubbing her hands, because she succeeded in breaking up your relationship. She will try it with any woman he brings into his life. She's mean and arrogant, and doesn't care about her childs' feelings. She will tell that innocent child in the cruelest of ways that her Daddy doesn't care about her, if he gives in to your pressures about setting boundary lines. So far, you, too, are just showing your boyfriend that you don't care that he care's about his childs' needs, and he might end his relationship with you, before you get the chance. A lot of divorced Daddies can't put their children on the back burner, contrary to popular belief. I'm sorry if I gave off the impression that I would ever try to stand in the way of my BF and his child. Not at all. I encourage their relationship and support them in every way I can. I respect the parent/child relationship....and would not ask him to do anything to jeopardize his relationship with her.
He and his ex have joint custody and it's basically one week on, one week off. They have their child each half the time. It doesn't matter if she's here with us or with her mom...the drama is all the time and it gets frustrating and disruptive for us and our home. They each call every night to say goodnight to their daughter and I have absolutely no problems with that. Only when she insists on dragging me into it and overstepping what should be her boundaries. I believe they should call only when it pertains to their daughter and what's best for her but, that doesn't happen. The ex insists on interjecting herself into our lives and home and future plans ect.. I don't believe it's any of her business. She knows my BF is a great father and has no problems leaving their daughter with us for a week or more at a time so, why call his job and family members to tell them he's a drug addict and needs to go to rehab and be drug tested, which is completely untrue! Those are the 'limitations' and 'boundaries' I'm suggesting here. She can't keep her nose out of our lives and actively seeks new ways to cause us pain and upset.....on a regular basis. It's because she can't or won't try to stay civil and keep to the subject of the welfare of their child that I have a hard time dealing with. I just think the communication should be kept for the sole purpose of visitation changes, illness, emergencies....the nightly 'goodnight' call and that's it. |
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