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Replies to '05/30 Ask the Authors'
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May 30, 2007, 5:00 pm PDT
 Quote From: flrat69 Having read many of your other posts, it is no surprise to me that you were there for your husband in so many ways. Bless you for that. Dealing with disabilities is a very hard thing for both partners. The "healthy" partner also becomes afflicted with the disease or condition. They are just feeling different symptoms, that's all.
My wife became disabled about four years ago. I certainly had to learn a great deal of new things, but at no time did she have to fear my loyalty and love would vanish. I am now becoming more and more disabled (literally) by the day. She tries to help me, even as I try to help her. Our lives have change so drastically that I would not have believed it beforehand. But, the biggest point of all is that they remain OUR lives.
I think your husband is (almost, lol) as lucky as I am. Take care of each other. You are both lucky to have one another. My inlaws (May they rest in peace ) were so much like that, as are my parents (though I am grateful my parents still have their health). I remember my MIL getting ill and having surgery after surgery (we used to joke with her, "tell them to put in a zipper " she thought it was funny and laughter is the best medecine ), my FIL had to learn what he grew up with as Women's work (I remember how much of a mystery the washing machine was for him with a grin ), and how he would grumble about the " Damn vacuum cleaner being put in the back of the closet ". When he got frustrated, we listened and pitched in. He lost his license due to degenerative eye disease caused by diabetes, so it was up to us to drive them everywhere, that almost devestated him, he felt as though some of his independence had been taken from him. He held her hand when she died, he pined away for another five years, officially, the Cause of Death, was Septic Shock, but I belive that it was a broken heart, he lost his will to live and nothing we did, or said made one bit of difference to him. By the time he passed, he had both legs amputated, kidney disease, legally blind and severe heart disease, but it was an infected bedsore that finally did it. I don't give up esily, its ironic though, just this afternoon, my husband was in a car acident, not serious, and he's home but sore ( that'll teach him to take on a dump truck, like I said I can be flip now, but on my way to the hospital, it was panic mode), and he's resting, I promised the doctor I would tie him down if I had to, but you know what, he'd do the same for me. And you know, I'm sure you and your wife have some amusing moments helping one another, I hope you can laugh, and enjoy your lives after all we only get one trip through, and we can chose to live or be bitter about what we've been dealt.
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