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Replies to 'Co-Parenting'
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June 1, 2007, 1:52 pm PDT
 Quote From: lisalee910 My boss is sharing custody of her children with ex-husband. He is moving in with a woman who has children of her own and has the resources to be a stay at home mom. My boss works a full time job and receives no child support (because their salaries are almost equal). The ex propsed his new girlfriend watch their children instead of sending them to daycare (which costs about $17,000/year). The ex would be moving 30 minutes away from my boss. Daycare is currently local to my boss which is comforting. My boss prefers to continue paying for daycare than let this strange woman watch her kids (even if the husband's judgement is trusted). She also feels a little jealous that this woman would be able to be a stay at home mom with her children while she cannot. I am nnot a parent so I am looking for opinions. Would you feel comfortable having your ex's significant other provide daycare for your children? What kind of feelings do you have towards it? Jealousy? discomfort? anger? loss of control? Any input is appreciated. She feels like perhaps she is being unreasonable and needs other parent's opinions.
i don't know what relationship your boss has with the new girlfriend. if it doesn't feel good, she could say, that she needs to get used to the idea, or isn't comfortable with it yet. she can still do it in a couple of months. also this will be a big change for the children. they've had a difficult time with the divorce and all, their environment changes a lot, it becomes unpredictable. so if it were to change again it might cause some more stress. i also don't know how old her children are, and how well they listen and can be disciplined by the girlfriend. because she will become the one that will partially raise them, and it isn't always accepted by the children. i am a step mom, and the kids go to daycare every tuesday when they're with their real mom. we've noticed that if they come to us a day that isn't normal, they become more difficult, they will fight quicker, won't listen as well as normally. so if the kids go to the girlfriend, the first time they moght be a bit more difficult, because it was again something they couldn't predict, which might make their environment feel less safe to them, but they will get used to being with the girlfriend. my advice, she just needs to follow her heart, and think what's best for the child. if she wants to keep using daycare, she should say so carefully, and explain, cause else it may cause trouble, because they could feel offended |
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