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Replies to 'Co-Parenting'
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June 1, 2007, 10:04 pm PDT
 Quote From: singleparent I am a 33 yr old single parent. I have some problems with my daughter's father. I don't know what I should do. I don't know what I should do. I would like some advice on what I should do.
My daughter is very confused about things that have been going on. Her father and I have split up since she was about 2 years old. It' has been very difficult. He's been with this girl for the last 6 years. I am not pleased with her at all. I can actually say that I don't like her at all. She has done a lot of mean things to me and my daughter. Her father sees her every other weekend and 2 weeks in the summer. Plus some days through school vacations.
When they first started dating, there was a weekend in July when he had her and she had broken her arm. Her father decided to wait 5 hours to call me to let me know that she needed to have emergency surgery. While we were waiting for her to get out of surgery, my parents noticed that Mark and his girlfriend were drinking and had driven her to the hospital. I din't agree with that at alland among other things.
He had mentioned that the accident was his fault and the he will pay for all of the medical expenses. He never paid for the medical expenses and they all went into judgements and these judgements went against me. I am very upsetwith that because now my credit is ruined because of it.
Over the winter, her father has been telling my daughter that he is looking for a apartment for the two of them and that hewas leaving his girlfriend. He's even mentioned it to his parent and my boyfriend. His girlfriend has been telling my daughter that pretty soon I will be your mother and you won't see your other mother at all. I don't like that at all. Now, on Mother's Day, her father had asked me if he could take cassie on vacation with him. I asked him where and he said to Maine. I said that I wasn't sure and I would have to take in consideration what Cassie would like to do. He then told me that I should know that he's going to Maine to get married. I didn't like that because it had confused me because what he's been saying to Cassie and everyone else.
I had thought about it alot and talked to an attorney and he advised me that I shouldn't let him take her due to certain circumstances. I can honestly say that I don't trust him becasue of certain things that has been going on. I don't know what I should do. His girlfriend had written a letter to school by email and the school had responded to it. I can't believe that the school had done that because they have never met her father or even talked to him. She had said it was him and not her. I can't believe that they did that.
There are other things that she's been doing and I don't agree with it. My question and concerns are should really be over protected with this situation. I don't know what to do.I am not sure if I am over reacting. Doesn't the other parent that has visitation rights only have to get permission to take the child out of county and state. I am afraid that he will takeher away from me again and I will never be able to see her again. What ever suggestions you may have I would appreciate it a lot. Hi I read your message and it worried me. My cuzen went though something simaler. and she went through hell I tell u. now the father has no rights what so ever and her new husband adopted her doughter. at least see a lower and see what they can do, u don't want to ever go through soemthing like that. good luck. |
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June 2, 2007, 4:08 pm PDT
Quote From: singleparent I am a 33 yr old single parent. I have some problems with my daughter's father. I don't know what I should do. I don't know what I should do. I would like some advice on what I should do.
My daughter is very confused about things that have been going on. Her father and I have split up since she was about 2 years old. It' has been very difficult. He's been with this girl for the last 6 years. I am not pleased with her at all. I can actually say that I don't like her at all. She has done a lot of mean things to me and my daughter. Her father sees her every other weekend and 2 weeks in the summer. Plus some days through school vacations.
When they first started dating, there was a weekend in July when he had her and she had broken her arm. Her father decided to wait 5 hours to call me to let me know that she needed to have emergency surgery. While we were waiting for her to get out of surgery, my parents noticed that Mark and his girlfriend were drinking and had driven her to the hospital. I din't agree with that at alland among other things.
He had mentioned that the accident was his fault and the he will pay for all of the medical expenses. He never paid for the medical expenses and they all went into judgements and these judgements went against me. I am very upsetwith that because now my credit is ruined because of it.
Over the winter, her father has been telling my daughter that he is looking for a apartment for the two of them and that hewas leaving his girlfriend. He's even mentioned it to his parent and my boyfriend. His girlfriend has been telling my daughter that pretty soon I will be your mother and you won't see your other mother at all. I don't like that at all. Now, on Mother's Day, her father had asked me if he could take cassie on vacation with him. I asked him where and he said to Maine. I said that I wasn't sure and I would have to take in consideration what Cassie would like to do. He then told me that I should know that he's going to Maine to get married. I didn't like that because it had confused me because what he's been saying to Cassie and everyone else.
I had thought about it alot and talked to an attorney and he advised me that I shouldn't let him take her due to certain circumstances. I can honestly say that I don't trust him becasue of certain things that has been going on. I don't know what I should do. His girlfriend had written a letter to school by email and the school had responded to it. I can't believe that the school had done that because they have never met her father or even talked to him. She had said it was him and not her. I can't believe that they did that.
There are other things that she's been doing and I don't agree with it. My question and concerns are should really be over protected with this situation. I don't know what to do.I am not sure if I am over reacting. Doesn't the other parent that has visitation rights only have to get permission to take the child out of county and state. I am afraid that he will takeher away from me again and I will never be able to see her again. What ever suggestions you may have I would appreciate it a lot. DON"T let him TAKE HER to MAINE not a good idea at all IS his APT going to be in ME. don't do it !!!!!!!! the state of maine dosn't give a poop to be polite! welfare is big thing in ME and FAKE SAD LIES GO OVER BIG IN MAINE and you would be good to know that if you and your child were hit and choked and the police took photos and arrested the person that person could go to court and put a protection order against you and take your baby!!!!!!!! from you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
STOP HIM NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
P.S IN MAINE YOU ARE GUILTY PROVE YOUR SELF AND WITH SOME YOU CAN'T ! |
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June 3, 2007, 9:51 am PDT
Quote From: singleparent I am a 33 yr old single parent. I have some problems with my daughter's father. I don't know what I should do. I don't know what I should do. I would like some advice on what I should do.
My daughter is very confused about things that have been going on. Her father and I have split up since she was about 2 years old. It' has been very difficult. He's been with this girl for the last 6 years. I am not pleased with her at all. I can actually say that I don't like her at all. She has done a lot of mean things to me and my daughter. Her father sees her every other weekend and 2 weeks in the summer. Plus some days through school vacations.
When they first started dating, there was a weekend in July when he had her and she had broken her arm. Her father decided to wait 5 hours to call me to let me know that she needed to have emergency surgery. While we were waiting for her to get out of surgery, my parents noticed that Mark and his girlfriend were drinking and had driven her to the hospital. I din't agree with that at alland among other things.
He had mentioned that the accident was his fault and the he will pay for all of the medical expenses. He never paid for the medical expenses and they all went into judgements and these judgements went against me. I am very upsetwith that because now my credit is ruined because of it.
Over the winter, her father has been telling my daughter that he is looking for a apartment for the two of them and that hewas leaving his girlfriend. He's even mentioned it to his parent and my boyfriend. His girlfriend has been telling my daughter that pretty soon I will be your mother and you won't see your other mother at all. I don't like that at all. Now, on Mother's Day, her father had asked me if he could take cassie on vacation with him. I asked him where and he said to Maine. I said that I wasn't sure and I would have to take in consideration what Cassie would like to do. He then told me that I should know that he's going to Maine to get married. I didn't like that because it had confused me because what he's been saying to Cassie and everyone else.
I had thought about it alot and talked to an attorney and he advised me that I shouldn't let him take her due to certain circumstances. I can honestly say that I don't trust him becasue of certain things that has been going on. I don't know what I should do. His girlfriend had written a letter to school by email and the school had responded to it. I can't believe that the school had done that because they have never met her father or even talked to him. She had said it was him and not her. I can't believe that they did that.
There are other things that she's been doing and I don't agree with it. My question and concerns are should really be over protected with this situation. I don't know what to do.I am not sure if I am over reacting. Doesn't the other parent that has visitation rights only have to get permission to take the child out of county and state. I am afraid that he will takeher away from me again and I will never be able to see her again. What ever suggestions you may have I would appreciate it a lot. Sadly, it looks as though your ex- does not know where the truth lies, his GF does not, or maybe neither of them do. It is rough on a child of that age to be told wildly varying stories like they are telling her.
I wish I could tell you that you are overreacting, but I don't think you are. The GF telling your daughter about being "her mother" sets off MAJOR red flags as to her/their real intentions. GF's other activities are disturbing as well, to say the least. Unfortunately, as far as the school (or daycare, if applicable ) is concerned, if they are under the impression that they are dealing with the NCP (GF claimed to be dad, correct?), they have to deal with them in the absence of any court orders to the contrary.
Listen to your attorney. Be prepared to take the immendiate issue (the proposed trip out of state) to court, if necessary, asap. Does your decree stipulate who pays what for medical?Depending on how much $ is involved I would consider some sort of action against him for the medical expenses, also. If he is supposed to pay, then he needs to be held accountable for his non-payment.
-bact |
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June 4, 2007, 10:12 am PDT
Quote From: singleparent I am a 33 yr old single parent. I have some problems with my daughter's father. I don't know what I should do. I don't know what I should do. I would like some advice on what I should do.
My daughter is very confused about things that have been going on. Her father and I have split up since she was about 2 years old. It' has been very difficult. He's been with this girl for the last 6 years. I am not pleased with her at all. I can actually say that I don't like her at all. She has done a lot of mean things to me and my daughter. Her father sees her every other weekend and 2 weeks in the summer. Plus some days through school vacations.
When they first started dating, there was a weekend in July when he had her and she had broken her arm. Her father decided to wait 5 hours to call me to let me know that she needed to have emergency surgery. While we were waiting for her to get out of surgery, my parents noticed that Mark and his girlfriend were drinking and had driven her to the hospital. I din't agree with that at alland among other things.
He had mentioned that the accident was his fault and the he will pay for all of the medical expenses. He never paid for the medical expenses and they all went into judgements and these judgements went against me. I am very upsetwith that because now my credit is ruined because of it.
Over the winter, her father has been telling my daughter that he is looking for a apartment for the two of them and that hewas leaving his girlfriend. He's even mentioned it to his parent and my boyfriend. His girlfriend has been telling my daughter that pretty soon I will be your mother and you won't see your other mother at all. I don't like that at all. Now, on Mother's Day, her father had asked me if he could take cassie on vacation with him. I asked him where and he said to Maine. I said that I wasn't sure and I would have to take in consideration what Cassie would like to do. He then told me that I should know that he's going to Maine to get married. I didn't like that because it had confused me because what he's been saying to Cassie and everyone else.
I had thought about it alot and talked to an attorney and he advised me that I shouldn't let him take her due to certain circumstances. I can honestly say that I don't trust him becasue of certain things that has been going on. I don't know what I should do. His girlfriend had written a letter to school by email and the school had responded to it. I can't believe that the school had done that because they have never met her father or even talked to him. She had said it was him and not her. I can't believe that they did that.
There are other things that she's been doing and I don't agree with it. My question and concerns are should really be over protected with this situation. I don't know what to do.I am not sure if I am over reacting. Doesn't the other parent that has visitation rights only have to get permission to take the child out of county and state. I am afraid that he will takeher away from me again and I will never be able to see her again. What ever suggestions you may have I would appreciate it a lot. The answer to his question- if he can take your daughter to Maine- should be a swift and firm “no.” You don’t have to explain why, in fact I think that explaining why you are saying ‘no’ would only make matters worse anyway- instead, because you have physical custody AND advice from an attorney not to allow your child to go, the answer is a simple ‘no.’ If he wants to complain about it, you need to remain calm and rational, and just become a broken record- saying something like, “it isn’t in her best interest to go to Maine with you at this time. I’m not saying no, she can never go- I’m just saying that at this time, she isn’t going, and there is nothing you can say or do to change that.” Don’t engage him in an argument over this- just say the same thing, over and over, and then hang up if needed or walk away. Regarding his girlfriend/soon to be wife- have you talked to your ex about the things she told your child? That she was going to be her mother and that she wouldn’t be seeing you at all, etc.? Those statements made to your child are emotional abuse, to say the least. How scary to hear that from an adult in your life that you won’t be seeing your mommy much! Scary and so cruel. I don’t think you are overreacting at all. Please, trust your instincts on this- it is your duty to protect your precious daughter from harm. Don’t ever second guess your judgment when it comes to protecting her; we have our instincts for real reasons, you need to learn to fully trust your instincts when it comes to your child. I know and understand that there may be things that happen in life that get you ‘off track’ from listening to/trusting your instincts, you begin to second guess yourself, etc.- but in this case, don’t second guess your decision. It is the right one to make. If these cruel statement continue, my advice is to seek a new visitation order in which her father has to have supervised visits only- everything he or his girlfriend says/does will be monitored by someone else and anything inappropriate would be called into question. I know you don’t want to go that route- but sometimes, you’ve got to make a hard decision. I truly hope that all works out well for you and your daughter, you deserve to be happy and life a long, healthy and fulfilling life! |
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