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Replies to 'Bipolar Disorder'
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June 5, 2007, 1:37 pm PDT
 Quote From: jackdaddy I am not say that what you and wife are going thur is not real I know it is very real, and my wife are on her meds and have it under control. The issue I have with this disorder is not with the peolpe like your self and my wife that are suffering with it. and the reason that I used the addicteds image is that is seems that there is no work going on to fixing what is cousing the inbance in the brain chemial to cures it and anyother of the condiction you sighted it just seen that our medical scinces cant find a way to over come this issue, I understand that to read what I wrote it may come cross like I am cold, but I am not I just dont how to voice my frustration see a the woman I love living with this every day and it killing me I have no Idea what you and her go thur on a daily base. the other part of my frustration is with the fact that I know when has a mood swing that I can not say anything about it with hurting her feel and make it seem like I think that she was putting it on, even thow I know she would not do that but the thing I an wrestling with in head it the fact that I can not voice how I feel without being on thin Ice. what I am about to write let me say this first I know that other then with meds there really no way to control the condiction. Ok in my head as I compare bipolar to some other non brain cinical inbalinces like just say a a person that drinks heavy and hold the rest of there famliy in fear. in this case it is standing up for then self to get the person the help they need and durring the intervention the famliy get to tell the person how they are effected when the person is drunk and acting out. Now like I sade I understand then dipolar is not the same thing but I dont like not being able to say how I feel with out hurting her feeling and I really dont want to do that at all I just want to say it. I feel I am jerk becasue I want to say how it make me feel when she is doing everything she can to control it, and I just have to seat there and take it becasue she is bipolar and that just the way it is and I hate myself even thing this way. please when you reply to this be honest again please I'm glad that you are concerned for your wife. I don't think that you need to feel like a jerk for being frustrated with your situation. My husband gets plenty frustrated with me, I'm sure. We have been married for 26 years, and much of that comes from knowing when to speak up and when to keep quiet. At times of extreme moods, it is time to deal with the situation without criticizing...it may seem like we can control it, but we really cannot when things go really out of balance.
The trick is recognizing the mood shifts before they get out of hand. If you can tell your wife that you think she looks or acts like she is depressed, or manic (whatever the case may be), she may open up more to you and tell you what is going on inside her head. My husband often sees that I am manic before I realize it.
Look on the internet. NAMI (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill) has a really good web site at nami.org On the web site, they explain bipolar disorder in terms that regular people like us can understand. You can also find out where they are located nearest to where you live. They have local support groups specifically for bipolar disorder, and for families of people with bipolar disorder. It may help you to meet others with spouses who have bipolar disorder. You might be surprised at how much you have in common.
Just a side note, the decision to use alcohol often happens when a person is in their teens. The tendancy for addiction is thought to be genetic in many cases. A person predisposed to addiction, who uses alcohol or drugs, is more likely to become addicted to them. Not experiencing addiction myself, I can't imagine what a struggle it must be to try to break free of it. It's not just a simple matter of will power.
As for the cause of bipolar disorder, it is thought to be genetic...passed on from parent to child...many people with mental illness have at least one relative who also has a mental illness. So, instead of trying to change the genes...not possible at this time...the drug companies work hard to develop medicines to treat the symptoms and bring the brain chemicals back into balance. Many of the mood-stabilizing drugs were originally developed to control seizures in people with epilepsy, or other seizure disorders. Doctors and researchers soon realized that these drugs also work well to stabilize a person's moods, and then they began prescribing them to treat bipolar disorder. Many of these drugs work very well, but how well a certain medication works for a person is unique to that person...drugs don't work the same way on every person. That is why there are so many choices of medications to use. It takes time to find the right combination of medications for a person, which don't have too many undesirable side effects for that person.
Do you see a counselor to deal with your issues of being the husband of a woman with bipolar disorder? It might be helpful for you to talk it out with a neutral party, who can direct you on how to discuss the issues with your wife in a loving and caring way.
Please keep us posted on how you and your wife are doing.
Becky |
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