Replies to 'Relationship Myths'

NO way  would I put up with having my feelings put aside again and again.  That is what he is doing.  Not everyone knows  how to be supportive but he is down right wrong!  He knows better than to do the things he has done but yet you let him do it, so he will keep doing it.  You need to put your foot down and tell him to listen up, let him know this is it!  He either needs to be more considerate of your feelings and support you and love you the way YOU need and want , or hit the road and hope the door smacks him on the a$$.  He is insensitive and selfish and that is not fair and you will end up resenting him and that is not a marriage that can work.  Good luck!  

The first mistake here was the lie that both of you did, marriage has to be about honesty amongst other things, you were leading your children to believe a lie and though I beleiev what he did was right as faras coming clean but he should have communicatedw ith you about it and the two of you face your children together, another good asset to a marriage is communication. I disagree witht hte fact that he left during labor and all that, very inconsiderate and disrespectful and thre should have been some kind of communication on his side, did he tell you why he didn't want to be there during labor and even wanting to leave after the burial of your mother, some people have a hard time dealing with death and some men cannot handle seeing their wives in pain, I know my hubby had a hrd time with that. He even left for a little bit to go help a friend who was right down the road, though he was back and helped me through labor and all, he got a lot of slack from others cause he wasn't by my side during this whole thing, he was not being rude and mean, it was imporant. You say there has been no infidelity, a good provider, good intimacy, have you suggested marriage counseling, evn if he doesn't agree to go, you can still go and get help dealing with your feelings and a solution, it takes two to make a marriage but sometimes it only takes one to get the ball rolling to have a great marriage. Sounds like he has some good qualities, and divorce is only a cop out for alot of people, you have been married for 20 years and all of a sudden he isn't the one for you? Marriage is about love respect and communication and it sounds like you just want an excuse to get out, I understand the hurt that you are feeling but you must realize that NO marriage is perfect and there are always going to be problems, do you think you would be much happier all by your self. I know I have been hurt by my husband in ways and, I have felt unloved and disrespected from him as well and he has felt that way towards me and believe me leaving was in my thoughts, but looking at the good traits that my husband has,the best father under the sun, hard worker, a great friend to all, loves God and goes to church and great intimacy plus more, Now, why in the heck would I want to leave this and tear my home a part over hurt feelings or a disagreement what ever, the key is to communicate and it sounds like that is missing from your marriage. Dr. Phil has great books out there that could help you, a good marriage takes time and work, it takes two, so have you ever looked at what YOU could be doing different, instead of what he should be doing different? Again, I unuderstand where you are coming from, and the hurt that you are feeling, I and I am sure many others have felt the same things, I believe in working 100% in making the marriage last and loving and some one has to start the work and pray and do everything in their power to get hte other partnert involved. It is up to you, to build upon the positive and strive for that good marriage or end it and get out on your own, only you can make that choice. Be honest with your slef and know what you are getting into. Good luck.