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Replies to 'Giving and Receiving Support'
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June 19, 2007, 6:29 am PDT
 Quote From: moonskye Hi everyone, I am sending this message because I need some advice about how I can cope with my parents. My mom has Alzheimers, My grandmother had it so I know what is involved but when it is your mom it is a whole new chapter. My dad suffers from major depression since my sister passed away 3 years ago, he basically lies in bed like 24 hrs a day and with him doing that mom does not get the care she needs so desperately..I do not have any legal right to do anything so I am so frustrated and stressed out because I feel I should be doing something, they should not be living this way. They are still in there home and homecare comes in and a nurse but my dad won't let them do anything but check mom over and talk to them, they also have meals on wheels but that is only 3 times a week so they get hardly nill nutrition. I have a brother and sil that live in the same town but they do what they feel they can. I am about 25 mins away and get there as ofetn as I can, up until Easter this year I called them every night but after easter I just could not handle the sadness and stress I dealt with every phone call. I have Fibro and CFS and when I get stressed out I get ill very ill and it is hard to bounce back. I have to take care of myself for me and my family. My brother found them a home to go to but I have been told they hate i, I know they will not be real happy anywhere but I know when they are truly not liking something they cannot go there, if they are going to remain sad may as well b in there home, but mom needs care now I am losing her more and more each day, so I am now trying to cope with the fact I need to grieve for my mom even though she is still alive. I need advice on how to cope and handle all of this. The perfect place for them to go is into a new nursing home just built in there town where my daughter is a PSW, she can care for them there and see them alot so I will have peace of mind knwoing how they are if I cannot be there alot. What would you do, I have 2 parents I am losing more and more each day and I feel like I am failing them by doing nothing. Can anyone help me with this? Much appreciated Thanku for reading this. Cat:) Haven't been reading too much on this thread before, so this kinda went by me. I know you must be terribly tired of all this, but what I'd do, or try to do, is physically drag that man out of bed each and every day I was able to. I'd never let him do what he's doing to himself, his wife, and the rest of your family. If he doesn't pull together, he'll lose his wife without even noticing, he'll just be as apathetic as always. He's withering away day by day as long as he does this. I would really make it my mission in life to get him to see that even though he lost his daughter, life has to go on. There is time for grief, and there is time for reconciliation, as there is a time for moving on. If you can, give him what he needs, which is the proper motivation to help his wife. |
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