Replies to 'Childhood Sexual Abuse Support'

Please forgive me for invading this sight as I have never been abused. I can't fathom what you women have been through and I am deeply sorry that anyone should experience this kind of horror. BUT ... my brother married a women who was regularly molested by her father through her teenage years (her younger sister, also). They have been married for over 10 years now. I will call her "Nancy". "Nancy" is very difficult to live with but we knew what her past was so we have all (there is 3 of us sisters) made a pact that we would love her regardless of her behavior and not allow her to cause division and break the family apart with competitiveness and jealousy. We understand that  alot of her difficult behaviors are because of her hurt from her childhood.

Here's what I would like advise on ... She has gone back and forth on whether to have a relationship with her family. In the past she cut off ties and was working on healing from her past and seemed to be making some progress. Her attitudes seemed to be better and she was easier to get along with - she just seemed all around healthier. Then she decided that her boys (4, 6, 8 at the time) should have a relationship with their grandparents and my brother allowed it and goes over to their house for holidays and stuff.

Since then, she seems to have gotten worse again. I have told my brother before that I think she will not get healthy or stay healthy until she ends that relationship. I know it must be hard and I admit I can't understand or relate to any of it. But her mother knew what was happening and actually looked at her daughters as competition and was jealous of them. She did nothing to help them. I think that is just as bad as what her father did. Her father is so vile that when they would all be watching TV or a movie as a family he would just masterbate right out there in the open in front of all of them. How sick is that? And my brother is okay taking his sons there??? I think my brother needs to take the bull by the horns and tell her that he loves her and it is his place to take care of her and protect her and make the decision that they will have nothing to do with them.

Am I looking at this to simplistic? I can't stand the thought that they go over there and are nice and jovial with someone who was so horrible to her. He abused them so badly that her younger sister was told that she wouldn't be able to have children. Thankfully, she was blessed with a little girl (I don't think she visit her father but I don't know for sure). What are your thoughts?