Replies to 'Giving and Receiving Support'

Hi,

    I have a few medical problems, I have grand mal epilepsy, a spinal injury and bone degenerating disease and an auto immune disease caused by my thyroid and not it's not catching, it's not hiv like a lot of people think as soon as I say an auto immune disease, but I have to be very careful not to get infections as they always get very bad and can cause some serious problems.  I also suffer depression and anxiety and post traumatic disorder, so I have a lot to cope with, but I am doing really well, I can't get around much, not allowed to drive and travelling is very painful for me, my wonderful husband is my full time carer and he is so caring, I have an 18 year old son who is studying to work with disabled kids, he has already learned sign language and loves his work and study, I am so proud of him after all he has had to put up with from me being so sick a lot of the time and I was in treatment for just over 2 years having to be away from him and he coped so well.

I  volunteer at our local hospital helping people who suffer wich chronic illnesses like me and depression and abuse as I also have had to endure.  But even though I am used to helping others, my nephew has had an accident and I am having serious trouble helping him as he is relying on me for support as I too have a spinal injury.

He was swimming with my son, he is only 22 and he jumped into a back yard pool, it is an in growned pool, 10 ft deep and has a diving board, he just jumped in but hit a lilo that was in the pool, he sunk straight to the bottom of the pool and hit his head, he floated upto the top of the pool and my son jumped in to check him out because he was laying face down.  Joel, my son asked him what was wrong and he just said to call an ambulance because he couldn't feel a thing.......

To cut a long story short, he has damaged his spine and neck in 4 places and has damaged his spinal chord which has left him a quadriplegic, it is so very hard to cope with and my son blames himself as it was his idea to go swimming i the first place, I am trying to help them both.  Peter, my nephew gets the nurses at his rehap hospital to ring me on speaker phone and he cries and tells me how hard it is to cope with but he is keeping a brave face for my sister, his mum and his dad as he doesn't want to upset them more.  So, he looks on me for support as I know what it's like to go through therapy and have been where he is, but I can use my arms, he can't,.   How on earth do I help him and what can I say to him except to work hard at therapy and give it all and never give up because you never know what might happen. 

I just need some support here as I am so upset about this, he is like my own son as he grew up with my own son and they are more like brothers, I love him dearly and feel so sorry for him, but he needs support not pity...  What on earth do I do now....

Yours truly

Shelley