Replies to 'The Meaning of "Family"'

 I'm so sorry for your loss and your seemingly insensitive family members. I wouldn't know where to start  in providing  any advice as there appear to be so many things going on.
All I can do is wish you well and hope someone on these Boards can relate to what you are going through.
Best regards.

I'm so sorry that you lost your son.  I don't think there is much worse in this world than a parent having to send a child off first.  As I was reading your post, I at first thought that your nearby family just was not able to talk to you about your son because they too were so upset that they just didn't know what to say.  However, at the end of your post you say that your son was gay and your family were strict Christians.  So, now, I'm not sure why they are being the way they are.  I'm sure you have your suspicions (that it is because your son was gay), but you never will really know unless you ask.  If you just assume this and never talk to them about it, your relationship with them is over.  I don't think it is something you can just sweep under the rug and forget about.  You have been very hurt by their behavior, and you will only be more bitter every time your see them or talk to them.  If you want to try to have the relationship with these family members that you had before your son died, then you have to be honest with them and tell them that you had been expecting personal phone calls from them when your son died, and even prayer meetings that would have helped you through such a terrible time (not that's it's over).  Ask them why they didn't call when your son died.  Be ready to forgive them if you can understand their reasoning; but also be ready to ask deeper questions if you believe their answers are not the true reasons.