Replies to 'Defining Your Authentic Self'

Hello again,

Thank you all for your very sweet and good advices. It does me a lot of good to read other peoples opinions. It's going to take time to heal from this, and I am thinking of writing it all down for myself, to get it all on paper, but I know I will grow stronger after this. It was difficult to hear, but a lot of things fall together now.

My mother didn't lied to us for our own good. We think she is "ill" and has to lie all the time. I know for a fact now, she still lies about many things to me, to our family, to her boyfriend etc. We, me and my sister, have talked about confronting her but we don't think that will be very wize. We believe that our mother believes her own lies, we have heard she has been lying since her youth, and this maybe makes life "easier" to handle for her. She still is our mom and we don't want to lose her. We are afraid, that when we confront her, she will never want to speak to us again.

She has lied about many important things, like for example, my father. They divorced when I was a little girl, and she always has told very bad things about him, that now all turn out to be false. We have "hated" our father for many years and, as it now turns out, for nothing. Thank God we didn't loose contact with him and the relationship with our father is growing stronger.

I'm trying not to hold a grudge to my mom, but it's difficult. We have heard she has had help for her problems many years ago but she didn't want it and got away. It's very sad because maybe, with the right help, she wouldn't have to live with all the lies.

Thanks again for all the great and very sweet reactions.

And yes, Jo, I'm from the netherlands. I presume you are to by the sound of your name?

Greetings,

Cathelijne

Hello again,

Thank you all for your very sweet and good advices. It does me a lot of good to read other peoples opinions. It's going to take time to heal from this, and I am thinking of writing it all down for myself, to get it all on paper, but I know I will grow stronger after this. It was difficult to hear, but a lot of things fall together now.

My mother didn't lied to us for our own good. We think she is "ill" and has to lie all the time. I know for a fact now, she still lies about many things to me, to our family, to her boyfriend etc. We, me and my sister, have talked about confronting her but we don't think that will be very wize. We believe that our mother believes her own lies, we have heard she has been lying since her youth, and this maybe makes life "easier" to handle for her. She still is our mom and we don't want to lose her. We are afraid, that when we confront her, she will never want to speak to us again.

She has lied about many important things, like for example, my father. They divorced when I was a little girl, and she always has told very bad things about him, that now all turn out to be false. We have "hated" our father for many years and, as it now turns out, for nothing. Thank God we didn't loose contact with him and the relationship with our father is growing stronger.

I'm trying not to hold a grudge to my mom, but it's difficult. We have heard she has had help for her problems many years ago but she didn't want it and got away. It's very sad because maybe, with the right help, she wouldn't have to live with all the lies.

Thanks again for all the great and very sweet reactions.

And yes, Jo, I'm from the netherlands. I presume you are to by the sound of your name?

Greetings,

Cathelijne