Replies to 'Interracial Relationships'

Ok, Karmen... it's time to go to work on your marriage... and get your children home soon.

Now that you know what you have done wrong in terms of moving too fast and the threesome, let's put that in the past and move past it.

Here's what you can do...

Even though you know your husband he knows you, you have to treat this reunion to be as a new relationship. Leave the past in the past and make new strides toward new fresh memories.

They way you do that is first go out on a date to a place where you can speak freely without shouting over loud noise.  Talk to you him like you have not done before... seriously

Ask him what he wants to do... Let's say he says he wants to come back home and be a family with you.... then Beautiful... Give him a big hug and a kiss....

Then you want to talk about plans for the future... where will you live, employment, schools for the children, a church where you can attend couples counseling and the children can attend Sunday School, finances and so on....  This will be your serious date where you will hash out future plans... Takes notes in a notebook, small so that it is not intimidating.

Remember he is going to re-assume his role as the man of the house... Which means, he is the primiary decision maker.. His decisions are made of course AFTER he has consulted with you and discussed your likes, dislikes, ideas, suggestions and concerns.  Then he should take this information from you coupled with his and make a decision for the family.....  This is important... A marriage is a partnership....for life... I am happy that you want to work it out.  Part of having a happy home is by allowing your husband to be the man that you know he can be, to lift him up, motivate him and in return, he will do the same for you... that is after all the goal.

Then, go on another date.... this date is the re-bonding date... This is the date where you begin speaking about topics where it helps you to get to know each other as you are today, not how you were in the past.... What does he like to do, favorite foods, does he love you, hold hands etc... What does he want for his daughters, for you...

Once you have found your new home and are in the same location.... Make sure your jobs are secure and you have bank accounts and are setting up for the future and the present...

Visit with the pastor at your new church and tell him what your plans are and register for couple's counseling and start going right away....  Ask the pastor to help you set up a family plan.  I think you will enjoy couples counseling in church over marriage counseling in town...

What you are essentially doing is setting up a family plan.... So that when you go to get your children... you will be able to say, my husband and I are back together working on buidling a stronger family unit. We are attending Couples counseling at such and such church, we have made arrangements for our children to go to such and such school and sunday school, I am working here and he is working there, or you may be a stay at home mom... We have set up our family budget where our monthly income is this and our debts are this and our surplus (savings) is this or will be this monthly... or one or the other is going back to school.....

Stay positive, no matter what. Smile more often... Look in the mirror and check you out... how is your hair, your nails, toe nails, your skin, how is your figure... work on you to make sure that you are looking the best that you can look to re-attract your husband.

What are you thoughts?

Sincerely