Replies to '07/26 Adoptions Scams, Part 1'

When I first watched the show dealing with Milissas adoption fraud, I came away with an uneasy feeling, but tried to dismiss it.  When I saw the rerun, I had a defining moment.  I could have been Melissa.  I don't claim to be able to "see inside her head", but I can relate to some of the things she did, the fraud she perpetuated.  I hope that this post may help some of the people whose hearts she broke.

   I was an isolated child, an only child born of emotionally bankrupt  immature parents.  I had the material things I needed, never went hungry, but love was missing from my life's equation.  I would have done anything for kindhearted attention.  It wouldn't have occurred to me that I was hurting someone.  It was all about what I was feeling and  what I was desperate to feel.  I grabbed at any form of kind attention like a drowning man wound grab at a floatation device, mindless of  the fact that it might have been someone else's lifeline...or that it was falsely inflated.

   Luckily, the only person I ended up harming was myself.  First, sexual promiscuity, then, prostitution.  The money was secondary to the feeling that someone cared about me, if only for a few moments.  It was like a drug, with no logic or reason.  I 'HAD' to have it.

   I married an abusive man, partially because I didn't think I deserved better, partially because I was delighted that anyone would want me.  It didn't matter who.

   OK, I've gotten off track, and I'm sorry.  I'm OK today, healed, whole and happy with a good husband.  My point is, Melissa probably really DIDN't know why she did what she did.  She probably WAS sorry, not so much for the people that she hurt, but because that attention was over, and she 'looked' bad.

   To have so many people believing her was probably a power trip and an all consuming high.  She probably felt vital, loved, attended to and intregal in peoples lives.  People who have never experienced emotional isolation might never be able to understand how consuming the search for those feelings can be.

   To be clear, I don't condone her actions for one second.  What she did to her victims was unconscionable and I am so sorry for their heartbreak.  I'm offering this as a way of aiding their journey to closure through understanding.  I hope this helps someone.

When I first watched the show dealing with Milissas adoption fraud, I came away with an uneasy feeling, but tried to dismiss it.  When I saw the rerun, I had a defining moment.  I could have been Melissa.  I don't claim to be able to "see inside her head", but I can relate to some of the things she did, the fraud she perpetuated.  I hope that this post may help some of the people whose hearts she broke.

   I was an isolated child, an only child born of emotionally bankrupt  immature parents.  I had the material things I needed, never went hungry, but love was missing from my life's equation.  I would have done anything for kindhearted attention.  It wouldn't have occurred to me that I was hurting someone.  It was all about what I was feeling and  what I was desperate to feel.  I grabbed at any form of kind attention like a drowning man wound grab at a floatation device, mindless of  the fact that it might have been someone else's lifeline...or that it was falsely inflated.

   Luckily, the only person I ended up harming was myself.  First, sexual promiscuity, then, prostitution.  The money was secondary to the feeling that someone cared about me, if only for a few moments.  It was like a drug, with no logic or reason.  I 'HAD' to have it.

   I married an abusive man, partially because I didn't think I deserved better, partially because I was delighted that anyone would want me.  It didn't matter who.

   OK, I've gotten off track, and I'm sorry.  I'm OK today, healed, whole and happy with a good husband.  My point is, Melissa probably really DIDN't know why she did what she did.  She probably WAS sorry, not so much for the people that she hurt, but because that attention was over, and she 'looked' bad.

   To have so many people believing her was probably a power trip and an all consuming high.  She probably felt vital, loved, attended to and intregal in peoples lives.  People who have never experienced emotional isolation might never be able to understand how consuming the search for those feelings can be.

   To be clear, I don't condone her actions for one second.  What she did to her victims was unconscionable and I am so sorry for their heartbreak.  I'm offering this as a way of aiding their journey to closure through understanding.  I hope this helps someone.