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Replies to 'Co-Parenting'
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October 13, 2005, 4:16 pm PDT
 Quote From: magickali My ex-husband remarried. I was very supportive of this and actually encouraged it. We had a joint custody situation. We never had a lawyer for the divorce, because I could not afford one and the parting was amicable.
Every thing was civil up until my oldest daughter's birthday which fell on my weekend to have the girls. He gave me a hard time, lied about some stuff for that weekend. I ended up going to court. Now instead of joint custody, I have visitation and I have to pay child support which I can really not afford. I have always been a homemaker and now I have two small children. My ex-husband makes $100,000/yr. Now I am sorry I did not have the lawyer, because things have been quite nasty.
His new wife makes my daughters call her mommy. My oldest daughter brought me her homework planner to be signed, so I signed it. The step-mother erased my name. My daughter cried and then got punished for it. This woman had also called our local building department to report that there were too many people living in our house (my husbands aunt and his father live with us in an 1800's carriage house). When this plan did not work the building department was called for a part that was sagging 9an area where no one resides) and our house ended up getting condemned. I had no where to live my baby and my toddler. It was horrible. She then continued to call in that we were still living in the house with the children, but I had gone to California and Florida to stay with relatives.
The step-grandmother sits near me at my daughters soccer games and says annoying things that she knows I will hear. The step-mother throws out personal items that I buy my daughters when they take them home from the visitations. My 11 year old is on to what is going on. But my 8 year old breaks my heart as she is fickle.
I just want to enjoy my daughters in peace, be able to buy them items and not get harassed. My lawyer says to record everything, but that is so stressful. I don't want to live like that. I just don't know what to do. It is making me very angry. This woman has a lot of nerve! I hate women like that. Although I am in no position to give you legal advise and I can tell you that I feel for you on this. The new wives move in and try to take over. One of these days, your girls will grow and and if they are this old now, they will probably remember whats going on. They will resent her and probably their father for what she is doing. You just be the best mother you can, bite your tongue, hire a lawyer if you want, pay your support and PRAY. Before you know it, your girls will be grown. Hope things get better for you. |
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October 21, 2005, 4:02 pm PDT
Quote From: magickali My ex-husband remarried. I was very supportive of this and actually encouraged it. We had a joint custody situation. We never had a lawyer for the divorce, because I could not afford one and the parting was amicable.
Every thing was civil up until my oldest daughter's birthday which fell on my weekend to have the girls. He gave me a hard time, lied about some stuff for that weekend. I ended up going to court. Now instead of joint custody, I have visitation and I have to pay child support which I can really not afford. I have always been a homemaker and now I have two small children. My ex-husband makes $100,000/yr. Now I am sorry I did not have the lawyer, because things have been quite nasty.
His new wife makes my daughters call her mommy. My oldest daughter brought me her homework planner to be signed, so I signed it. The step-mother erased my name. My daughter cried and then got punished for it. This woman had also called our local building department to report that there were too many people living in our house (my husbands aunt and his father live with us in an 1800's carriage house). When this plan did not work the building department was called for a part that was sagging 9an area where no one resides) and our house ended up getting condemned. I had no where to live my baby and my toddler. It was horrible. She then continued to call in that we were still living in the house with the children, but I had gone to California and Florida to stay with relatives.
The step-grandmother sits near me at my daughters soccer games and says annoying things that she knows I will hear. The step-mother throws out personal items that I buy my daughters when they take them home from the visitations. My 11 year old is on to what is going on. But my 8 year old breaks my heart as she is fickle.
I just want to enjoy my daughters in peace, be able to buy them items and not get harassed. My lawyer says to record everything, but that is so stressful. I don't want to live like that. I just don't know what to do. It is making me very angry. DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT, DOCUMENT. That is the advice I was given and trust me, it helped and worked to my advantage.
I recorded phone conversations and kept receipts for clothings, groceries, b-day presents, etc... I had an ad-litem (child advocate attorney) who reviewed my records and documented phone calls and conversations. I admitted when I hung up on him or denied visitations and why (due to late hour of arrival or sick child). But it showed that I stuck to the rules and things weren't one sided.
The courts can appoint a psychologist, play therapy and even a home visit. A friend of mine who's daughter lives out of town had a psychologist accompany the child across state lines and do a home interview with friends and family of the father (us). Then compared how the child was with the mom vs with the dad. The results were shocking. My friend had child support reduced and had visitations increased!! That's not what you want to hear but a psychologist or counselor can see thru the "acting" that might occur and see the truth -to your benefit.
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April 25, 2006, 9:47 pm PDT
Quote From: magickali My ex-husband remarried. I was very supportive of this and actually encouraged it. We had a joint custody situation. We never had a lawyer for the divorce, because I could not afford one and the parting was amicable.
Every thing was civil up until my oldest daughter's birthday which fell on my weekend to have the girls. He gave me a hard time, lied about some stuff for that weekend. I ended up going to court. Now instead of joint custody, I have visitation and I have to pay child support which I can really not afford. I have always been a homemaker and now I have two small children. My ex-husband makes $100,000/yr. Now I am sorry I did not have the lawyer, because things have been quite nasty.
His new wife makes my daughters call her mommy. My oldest daughter brought me her homework planner to be signed, so I signed it. The step-mother erased my name. My daughter cried and then got punished for it. This woman had also called our local building department to report that there were too many people living in our house (my husbands aunt and his father live with us in an 1800's carriage house). When this plan did not work the building department was called for a part that was sagging 9an area where no one resides) and our house ended up getting condemned. I had no where to live my baby and my toddler. It was horrible. She then continued to call in that we were still living in the house with the children, but I had gone to California and Florida to stay with relatives.
The step-grandmother sits near me at my daughters soccer games and says annoying things that she knows I will hear. The step-mother throws out personal items that I buy my daughters when they take them home from the visitations. My 11 year old is on to what is going on. But my 8 year old breaks my heart as she is fickle.
I just want to enjoy my daughters in peace, be able to buy them items and not get harassed. My lawyer says to record everything, but that is so stressful. I don't want to live like that. I just don't know what to do. It is making me very angry. When I met my husband, he had one daughter and one on the way. His ex also has a daughter from a previous relationship that he has raised as his own. I am the EVIL step-mom... We recently bought a house to be closer to his children and so that my boys could spend more time with their sisters (we have 3 boys now). His ex was all for this, but recently has changed her mind like 50 different times. We are now at a point were his girls who used to love me, now hate me because their mom hates me. I haven't done anything to her except marry her ex. I don't know what to do anymore because all of this is hurting my boys and I feel all alone in this matter. I know my husband loves all of his children, but he lets her control everything when it comes to the girls and now it is affecting my children as well. We tried going the route of recording every little thing that happens with her, but I agree that I don't want to live my life like that either. I wish I could offer you some adive or you could give me some, but I just wanted you to know that I can kind of feel your pain and stay strong... Good luck! Kris |
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