Replies to '10/05 Moms: Cut the Chaos'

 Tell your roomate you aren't the maid and he/she needs to clean up after herself!  (your husband too for that matter!)  Mothers have enough to keep up with.  There's no reason others can't carry their load. 

Remember, we teach people how to treat us. My husband has a friend who is staying with us at this time, (thankfully not much longer), I laid the rules down real fast to my husband, "I will do absolutely nothing for this guy, he is an adult and he will take care of himself", Well, this guy came and within a few days, he had dirty laundry in our pile of clothes, I took them out and placed them on the floor by his bed. I do not cook, clean or anything after him. Now, this guy has a hard time cleaning the bathroom up after he is done, I told him, you clean your mess or you leave and this is why the dead line has come sooner then he thought it would cause he is a manipulative person and thinks the world owes him. Now, my hubby, being the nice and compassionate person that he is, from the beginning thought I should offer this guy food, well, i say, "if he can't open the refrig or open a can of something, pop it in the microwave, that is his problem, and not mine. This guy knows i will not cater to him and he is uncomfortable around me casue he knows I don't want him here, My thougts on that,' I am not your wife, I am not your slave, you don't respect me in my home, so sorry about your luck". Stand up to these people and don't let them manipulate you. Set the boundariess and stick to your guns, your first responsibility is to yourself and the kids and to your hubby, don't worry about the others, make them take care of themselves. If you are doing their laundry, STOP. If you are cooking their food, STOP. If you have to cook and fix a plate for your family and put the rest of the food a way, start using paper plates if need to do, whatever the case, make those people grow up and quit giving in to them. If they ask you for something, tell them you are busy, you don't have time. Tell them you have a family and they are your top priority. If that doesn't work, You need to talk to your husband and figure out a new plan, he may need to talk to these people and lay down the rules, he needs to be on your side, my husband didn't like it when I gave his friend the time limit, but I say, it is my space and time being invaded therefore I had every right and since he wasn't doing it, I had every right to. stick up for your self. Another thing I do as well, if this guy is here at the time, I don't cook, I make sure my girls have food and I feed them, Thankfully I have a hubby who will help himself so that is not a problem with me. Now, I know there may be some people who think I am cruel but we do not have to be used and manipulated. There is a difference between helping a person out and being there in times of problems, whatever, but there are times when we just have to say NO and make the other step up to the plate otherwise they will never learn.