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Replies to 'Where Should Your Child Sleep?'

 
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August 17, 2007, 10:46 am PDT

Where should your child sleep

Quote From: scojalu

As a mother of 3 boys, the youngest of which is 8 weeks old tomorrow, I think the important thing to remember with anything we do with our children is only a problem if we see it as a problem (notwithstanding issues of abuse of course). For example, the family who sees co-sleeping as a solution to all family members getting quality sleep may be seen by another family as setting themselves up for ongoing years of children sleeping in the parents' bed. The co-sleeping family may not be concerned about this (or at least not in the beginning). We have had all of our children in bed with us in the early stages of their lives as it meant that I could breastfeed and simply go back to sleep. As I now have the third baby (and the eldest has just turned 4 I might add), if we did not do this I would be sleep deprived and I imagine not very nice to be around! I would like to congratulate you on managing to help your baby overcome his sleep anxiety early, but just remember, the "bad habit" you felt you might have had to break in the future would only be "bad" if you saw it that way. If you and your husband weren't comfortable with co-sleeping (which I guess you weren't) then you have done what is right for your family. Each of us can only do what is right for our own family.

I think it's terrific that you did not let co-sleeping become a habit.  If co-sleeping is your family's plan, that's one thing.  But, to co-sleep to quell your child's crying is different.  In that case, you might inadvertently be giving your child the message that it is unsafe to sleep independently. This message can generalize to daytime situations, like school or going to friend's house in that your child can develop insecurities and feel a need to have you attached physically at all times.  I think teaching your child self-comforting and coping skills--including at bedtime-- is essential for healthy development.
 


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