Replies to 'Depression'

There is a board for sexually abused children and there family members!

 

A Lady by the name of CLAIRE RUNS this group and hher 2 boys were sexually abused too!

 

She has authored a book and will appear on DR KEITH ALBOW very soon!

 

Tell her screamcheese sent you ok!

 

BREATH!  THANK GOD YOU KNOW THE TRUTH!

 

Its about healing for you and those kids now...

I WAS SEXUALLY ABUSED AS A CHILD!

 

You are not alone ok!

 

xox

S

I'm so sorry that you have to go through this.  Right now your first thoughts should be for your daughter.  Get her to a counselor ASAP.  She has kept this secret for some time and she needs to talk things out with someone that's not emotionally involved.  I was molested as a child and I know how much I have suffered from it.  I too kept it a secret until I was 24 years old, I'm 55 now and just now working through the whole mess. 

 

Press charges on behalf of your daughter.  Don't cut this guy any slack.  I know you loved him but what he has done is a terrible thing.  You will have to try to explain to your other children why the SOB is not there.  They may need some counseling also.  You also may need to work out your feelings of guilt and pain with a counselor.  This is not an easy thing to go through.

 

Again, I am so sorry.  I can only imagine the trauma you are going through.  Please, hear me when I tell you to get your daughter some help ASAP.  The longer she goes without help, the harder it will be to get through this.  Unfortunately this will be something that will always be with her but with the proper help she'll be able to move on in her life.  I waited so long to deal with this that it affected every area of my life all these years.

 

Keep us posted and if I can be of any other help please let me know.  You and your daughter will be in my prayers.

 

Take care

Barb

Pedophiles often target women with children so if a man seems too good to be true...just may be. Wanting to help with children like babysit. The things is there are some good men out there too so, really, you just never know. Sounds like he had lots of practice acting innocent. Maya Angelou says, "When you knew better you did better." You didn't know. Now, you do. Contact below to get pointers on what to do now. Sadly, your daughter isn't the first so below folks know what you and she are feeling and will help you both to heal one moment at a time. Now, you no longer have to give up anything for him as this is a deal breaker. Below folks will help guide you through this a fellow member here who was on Oprah Show said. (((HUGs))) I'm certain you are devastated for any caring mother would be. Breaks our hearts too. Contact below number for moral support for you and your daughter. Hugs and prayers, SEA

(The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN))
1-800-656-4673 (HOPE).
www.rainn.org
It is FREE, it is confidential and it is answered 24/7.

Emma - You were not the first and unfortunately will not be the LAST!  This is something that happens in families, it is so wrong but YOU need to know that, the truth is the truth and your children and family need you.  As for my opinion and it is MY opinion... he can rot! 

 

You need to try hard to seek help for you and your children now.  It is not your fault but as time goes on you will notice tell tale signs and you will eventually heal to be there for your children.  That is why they have help, and I would definetly take advantage of it!!  JUST ASK, and know it is not YOUR fault.  This has also happened in my family with a nephew, he is not longer with us but as time went on it became more relivant that he had done very bad things to other family members as well.(children). 

Please stay with us, you babies need you more now than ever... God bless you and know it was and is not YOU.  Just wright him off... I am sorry, but he lied and hurt you as well..

 

that last line was uncalled for I am sorry... Mary Ann

emma08...how horrifying!!  Perry knew darn-well the consequences of his actions but that sociopathic dog didn't care! You put your time, your character and your reputation on the line, and trusted him completely. He was calculated enough to count on your doing it!! That low dog kept up pretenses, KNOWING all the while you would be mortified by the loathsome ignoble things he had done, and denying it every possible way till the bitter end. Oh, you were tooooo good!    And because in your heart YOU could NEVER conceive it (and therefore-never-believe-it), the one you loved the most, your LIFEpartner, the one holding your vulnerable heart in his hands, STOOD there in that place of honor and LIED to your face!!  I've noticed that about abused women I've met: they tend to think with their heart, and not with their head. They ascribe honor to those to whom honor is definitely NOT due!!    Abusers COUNT on fair-n-square players keeping it "fair." The advantage?  Their victims continue to self-deceive. Victims self-prompt to question what right they have to question; to examine motives and feel disloyal in doing so; to misinterpret and dismiss the baldest screaming "facts" and feel ashamed to even think THAT's what they "saw" --because it isn't consistent with the image abusers want to manipulate (or even the victim wants to believe) and project about themselves. I heard a friend argue that "in fairness" what "right" did SHE have to withhold from another what SHE would have wanted for herself had the situation been reversed?    Well emma08 ... The lowest muck from the dirtiest lines of sewers is too good for that slime-impersonator of innocence!  He raped his children, and he raped YOUR TRUST -- the trust of the BEST person he'd probably ever be able to meet! God help...   While I read your posts, I could see and feel that pain just shatter you. (You know what? You didn't have to write that to us... )  You seem honest and fair to the point of putting "truth" above what you even think about your self.  To me you proved your own point: it speaks the right-standing of the person that you are. Posting your message of August 11 was an INCREDIBLE show of strength and character. The price you've paid is terrific... Please know the hurt I feel for you, and the feel of support I've sustained throughout this period. May your healing be swift!   In the original response I started on August 12th, I went much longer -- <humor>... so maybe you've been spared!  My hope for you is an even-deeper connection with your young daughter. Later, I will post you again. Life-effects of abuse and molestation are staggering... I want to share from my own life what possibly could strengthen your relationship with her right now.   Time is passing, and I don't want you to think you're alone.    P.S.  In your writings, you are a woman of prayer--? Then be reminded: God is your sun and your shield and is your exceeding-great reward!!--your glory and the lifter-of-your-head!! You are strong, emma08, and when you are weak "He IS" --even stronger!  Rest... and stand.

Emma, I am soooo horrified for you. There was a man in my neighborhood growing up who was molesting/raping little girls and none of them told. All the girls would even go on the summer camping trip he did every summer, one week with the girls and then one week with the boys. None of the little girls told. They were afraid of what he would do to them if they did tell. That's probably why your daughter didn't tell anyone. She was afraid. That's too much for a 10 year old to be able to handle, and saying it out loud, makes it real.

 

You have to believe that you were not a fool. A fool would have been someone who knew it was happening and stayed anyway. People like Perry are experts at manipulation of children and other adults. Normal people are no match for sick people like him. Your first order of business is to NOT blame yourself. You cannot be a good support system for your daughter if you are drowning in guilt. You and your daughter need to become a united team of strength that's going to do whatever it takes to make sure this guy gets put away for the rest of his life and can never do this to anyone else. You are BOTH victims, you and your daughter. You CANNOT take the blame for what Perry did. The only person responsible for what he did is himself. Do not let him take another piece of you or your daughter.

 

You need to get counseling no matter what it takes so you can absolve your own guilt. You MUST make sure your daughter gets counseling. DO NOT think she can get through this without it. My sister and my best friend were both victims of that neighborhood guy - and both of them because extremely promiscuous and their lives were not what they could have been if they would have gotten counseling. Don't let your daughter bury this.

 

I know you are hurting, but right now, your daughter doesn't need you to be hurting. She needs you to be her shield and to carry her through this. Cry on here - but don't let her see you feeling weak. She needs you now, more than ever.

 

I wish I was there to give you a big hug. I know you are absolutely devastated beyond anything you could have ever imagined. If there is anything to be positive about, be thankful that Perry didn't take her life to keep his secret. She's gotten out of it alive, Perry is in jail, you and your family will move on from this. But, it all has to start with you - you've got to be the strong one here. Please, please, please - get counseling NOW. Do not try to get through this on your own. It's too big. Promise all of us that you will get counseling for both you and your daughter. They have sliding fee scales if you can't afford it.

 

You are surrounded by friends here. You CAN and WILL get through this. It will not be easy. The court process is heart-wrenching. But, you can do this. You're life isn't gone, it's just very different now. But the bad guy is in jail - now you start taking baby steps to take your life back.