Replies to 'School Issues'

Those raging hormones cause so many changes to happen all at the same time...our middle son will turn 14 at the end of the month and is also entering his freshman year.  The homework is a common thing, especially among adolescent boys, according to the school counselor.  Going through "female puberty" when I was a teen helps me to survive my sons' changes.  We lived through our oldest son's changes...we are a little more prepared for the second one, and maybe we'll be experts by the time the third son enters puberty...LOL

Our middle son, though irresponsible with the homework last year, seems more mature and responsible than his older brother did at this age.  He is much more dedicated to making sure that he is ontime to band practice, and to practicing his trumpet at home.  We make sure to praise the areas where he is doing well.  I'm sure that the rest will fall into place in due time.  In the mean time, I am diligent about knowing what homework is due, through weekly (or more frequent) emails to the teachers.  We have it set up that our son has to CALL ME from class if a homework assignment is not turned in...that has been pretty effective in the classes where this policy is adhered to.  (Our son has ADHD, so he has a 504 plan...an individual education plan, which makes accomodations, such as extra communication between me and the teachers.)  But, even without ADHD, the communication lines should be open between parents and teachers.  Our teachers (most of them) are good about reading and answering their emails from concerned parents.  They often say that they wish all of the parents would be as dedicated as I am to making sure that my son does his work.

The ranges of moods...depression...anger...all part of growing up...think back to your own teenage years...mine were probably the worst time of my life...I'm glad to be long past it...all those erratic feelings (I have bipolar disorder, which makes the range of moods even wider).

Always know where your son is, and what he is doing...he will be growing more distant from you as he matures and doesn't "need" you like he did as a young boy...this is normal, but you can still stay involved in his activities...be a parent volunteer as you can work it around your work schedule...I volunteer at my youngest son's school, as well as with the high school band, and the high school church youth group.  My sons actually enjoy my involvement. 

Our oldest son is going out on his own in the next few weeks...I hope that we have adequately prepared him for life on his own...he is going to culinary school about 300 miles from home...I'm a little worried about his ability to manage his finances...I hope that his big mess-up this summer has taught him a thing or two.  I hope that he will keep in contact...we will let him keep his cell phone on our plan while he is in school, and we will call him weekly to keep up on his progress.  It is tempting to call him every morning to make sure that he gets up on time, and takes his medications, but he has been sort-of on his own over the summer with his job as resident assistant cook...I hope that this experience has further prepared him for life on his own.  I was 19 when I married my husband of 26 years, but somehow, I felt more mature than I see him at age 18.  I guess I'll always be a mom first...will probably cry when we say good-bye after moving him into his apartment...I'll be sure to have my hanky on hand.

Well, good luck with the puberty...keep in touch...Becky