Replies to 'Body Image & Sex Appeal'

I'm sorry, but men need to figure it out.   Bottom line, no beating around the bush- I think men "want" their woman to feel sexy and blow them away in the bedroom and walk around with all the confidence in the world.  ALL the while, when they are gawking at other woman, making us feel like we're not good enough or that they would rather us look like something that we're not, or they are consumed with porn (like my fiance') and have this "visual stimuation" going on in their mind 24/7 and when they ARE suppose to be "making love to you", they are really "making love to the images in their own, sick head".  Yeah, that will do it to us every time.  Give me a break!  

Men need to step up to the plate and realize that as woman, we aren't going to ravish them in the bedroom when they are doing things to make us feel like we're not enough for them, or that they wish we looked like something else.  It doesn't matter WHAT you may weigh, or how much weight you have gained, if your husband MAKES you FEEL DESIRABLE and WANTED, and most importantly- LOVED INCONDITIONALLY, you are *going* to feel sexy.  It just makes me sick the society that we live in and how men treat woman.  Why is that woman have all this pressure to "be perfect, look perfect and enhance themselves with plastic surgery to live up to a "man's" perception of what the "perfect woman" should look like. I'm not against plastic surgery, but I am against the way society puts pressure on us to LOOK PERFECT. We sure in the heck don't put that kind of pressure on MEN.. we love them for who they are and how they make us feel.  

My fiance' is overweight.  He's gained a little over 50lbs since we've been together (8 years) and I love him now, as much as I did then.  The attraction hasn't changed for me, because it's the person on the INSIDE that I love- not the outter portion.  Right now I'm struggling with it all because of al the hurt and lies and betrayal he has put me through, so I'm questioning even who he IS in this point of my life, but my love or my desire for him hasn't changed due to his weight gain- but to how he has treated me as a person. 

Woman, keep your heads high and don't allow your husband's for a second to make you feel bad about yourself.  You *just* had a baby and it takes time to get back into shape.  I, too, had a c-section with my 3rd baby and it seemed like it was taking forever for the swelling in my belly and my scar to fade-- but once it did, you can barely tell now.  The scar is so faint, and unless you eat a lot of high, carby/sugary foods- you CAN look better than what you did BEFORE the pregancy.  It takes time and a lot of hard work (some more than others). But it CAN and WILL happen. It's hard to focus on taking care of yourself and improving your self image while taking care of a baby-- but the best thing I did after being pregnant for 3 years straight (my "babies" are 2, 3, and 4- each are only 11 months apart from one another)---  I joined the gym and was absoutely amazed at the transformation.  IT CAN HAPPEN..... 

The best advice I can give is to have patience, work at it.. even if it's a little excersize here and there, but most importantly, don't do it for your  husbands because of how they make you feel--- DO IT FOR YOURSELF. 

Hang in there.....