Quote From: natalie878My bf and I have lived together for nearly 4 years now, I'm 47 and he's 50, but if I had it to do over again, I'd just date or spend weekends cohabitating!
When we first started dating, I thought here is the most honest upfront guy, holds nothing back, wow, I didn't have that in my marriage of 23 years. We had a great time, the kids all got along great, all was wonderful. We moved in together and silly me had visions of getting remarried and he just kept saying, I'm not ready for that or I need to be sure before we do that..the blow comment was I want to be sure you're the one. That hurt..alot. It certainly made me back off and rethink my position. Increasingly I felt the need to stay 'single'.
Lo and behold ON our 3 year anniversary early in the morning there was a knock at the door, with a woman standing there..asking for him. He came back from the door white as a ghost holding papers, even with sleepy eyes, I could see they were DIVORCE papers. I didn't have a CLUE that he was married. You could have knocked me over with a feather!!!!! They had been married for 3 1/2 years, she disappeared after 4 mo. of marriage, and he'd never heard from her again until that day.
After a blur of lawyers he was divorced in 6 weeks. He just thought she'd fall off the face of the earth I guess.LOL
NOW he's all into let's get married blah blah blah, and I have no interest what so ever. He took the 'us' out of trust and it's something I can't get past. I've bought a house with only my name on it, we still live together, altho I sometimes really wonder why..
That's a major breach of trust. And not only did he lie by omission, he let you linger in a world of doubt about your future with him, failing to answer your questions about marriage or even being so cruel as to tell you he wasn't sure you were "The One".
That's as bad, if not worse than not telling you he was married.
He threw your feelings under the bus to protect himself, so I really do wonder why you're still with him. You don't have to throw him under the bus, but I think you should definately throw him to the curb. You're obviously a caring woman, willing to sacrifice to help those you love. You should be with a man who is cut from the same cloth.
