I believe she should be told before someone else tells her. She's bound to find out anyway, now that others know. And if she finds out after he dies, she'll forever have a hole in her heart. My oldest sister found out she didn't have the same father as my other sister & I, when she happened upon her birth certificate in an old family Bible. She was a teenager at the time. She was devastated to learn of this, & especially to learn it in this manner. Since then, she's always felt like she wasn't good enough, couldn't measure up, & it's affected her ability to trust. If she'd been told, as a child, & given the love & understanding needed growing up, maybe she would have been better able to relate to others.
