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Replies to 'Depression'
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August 29, 2007, 7:09 am PDT
 Quote From: foxylass I recently began working in a permanent position at the hospital I used to work at when I became depresssed in 1996. I left there in 1999 after the medications had made it impossible for me think or function. I guess I expected it but people come up to me and greet me stating they remember me from when I used to work there. Due to the damage the ECT & medications did to my long term memory I don't recognise them nor remember any details about them. I have to 'go along' with whatever they are saying and make up some reason for why I left. It's freaky. Some of them actually remember why I left so I feel as though everybody knows my business and is just waiting for me to 'crack' up' again. I find myself having to almost defend my absolute resolve to never allow such a thing to happen again. I give reassurances that I have undergone monumental change and gained irreplacible wisdom from my awful experience. I'm not paranoid but I also don't like the idea that if certain people decided to they could use my past to undermine me. I try to exude confidence in my skills and knowledge and demonstrate what a different person I am today. I believe the past is the past and not my present or future. I get questions all the time from newer staff members who want to know why I left and what I did during those years. That's when it becomes awkward. I'm not convinced as to whether to make up something or tell the truth. If I lie they will likely hear the truth from an older staff member. Just say you'd prefer not to go into. That's YOUR business and my dad use to say, "When you tell people "your" business it isn't "your" business anymore. If anyone comes up to ask again just say, "I'd rather hear about you." OR "That was then and this is now and, that's nice of you to ask, yet I'd prefer to stick with now." That's the key is to have some things prepared to say. Many are just trying to make conversation and most all places have some sort of gossip going around until something new comes up. Just don't buy in to it.
You don't owe them an explanation about "your" business they owe you respect as a fellow team player. Y'all are there first and foremost to do your jobs not for anyone to designate your business as topic for conversation and entertainment. Even if you worked somewhere else there woudl likely be a gossip as they seem to pop up everywhere from church to work. What you said is excellent: "I believe the past is the past and not my present or future. I try to exude confidence in my skills and knowledge and demonstrate what a different person I am today. I give reassurances that I have undergone monumental change and gained irreplacible wisdom from my awful experience." Put the shoe on the other person's foot and just say, "I'd rather hear about you. Thanks for asking yet that was then. This is now and I want to stay in TODAY." You'll think of something polite to say move on to next subject so you aren't topic. Things will move on so raise up your sails to sail on. We're proud of you and sounds like you are too (and that's good)!!! Sometimes topics of conversation can veer off course just because another person is just trying to make conversation yet if you don't want to be topic just change the subject. New topics will be found. Hugs and prayers and GREAT to see you, Donna. SEA |
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