Replies to 'General Advice'

I am a stay at home mom and have been since the day my first was born. I have always been able to occupy my time and though there have been some lazy days basically just hangin out with my girls, I wouldn't change a thing. I have always been active in my church and participate in most things going on, even if it involves taking the girls. Getting my hubby to watch the girls for a bit while I go out with a friend or just to be alone is something I do not hesitate to do. While staying home, your first thing is to enjoy your child an do what is imporant in the house of course, Take time for family and friends, treat yourself to an outing of some kind, get involve in your community some how, even if it is a monthly thing. I like having friends over so I have had tupperware and pampered chef parties in my home, I have invited a few friends for pizza and we play board games or just hang out gabbing and playing with the kids. reading, writting and scrapbooking are things I like to do and taking advantage of the quiet times is wonderful, go take a long bubblebath and take a book along with you or just sit and relax and meditate/pray. For the most part, I have always taken one day at a time and on days when there isn't plans, I take advantage of those times and enjoy my kids and doing things that I like doing and of course all the "wonderful" things that need to be done around the house. And there is nothing wrong with having a lazy day here and there, I have learned that I don't have to be "busy" all the time to be a good mother and wife which was definetly a hard lesson for me but a wonderful lesson.

I can't say too much on the chubby issue, I gained all my baby weight back, with some interest once I stopped nursing.  When my son was younger I tried walking around my local mall before all the stores opened.  All the grandmas and grandpas there loved him.  I stopped doing that thoguh.  I really wish that we had been able to get a jogging stroller so that I had a place to put my son while I was walking/running/whatever.  A regular stroller's wheels just aren't meant for off roading through the grass.

 

My point?  Take him with you of you so choose to go walking or exercising somewhere.

 

I joined my local Ymca and they have a "day care" for members while you workout. Ours also has moms day out once a month for an extra 10 dollars. They do not do it during the summer. You can pay per month for yourself or family. They have classes for members, daily like areobics, cycling, etc.

You could also look into moms clubs but those are usually for toddlers.

 

   My advice to you is to enjoy your 5 week old baby because in a couple months,  you will have enough to do.  He will be old enough that you can help him start developing his skills and playing with him.  Right now he is just a lump of little cute babiness but take my word for it, in a month you will be so fasinated with all the things he learns that you'll figure out what to do.   

I like crafts,  I also exercise daily,   I am kinda a stay at home mom.  I manage a motel.  We live here and I run the office and handle all the tenants.  I am also the housekeeper.  I've learn that when I do have a free moment that I take it.  If it's reading a book or just relaxing with my eyes closed.  this is going to be the best year of your life.  It's so unbelievable how a baby learns stuff so quickly.  So don't obsess about what you will do just enjoy it because it will be over before you know it.      

  

*  I have a 2 year old daughter and a 9 month old son.   My son learned how to CRAWL at 4 months.  Ever since then he has been in to everything.  So you never know when they will just take off. 

I have a 3 1/2 month old son, and felt much the same at the beginning of my maternity leave. All he did was eat, sleep, poop and cry. I would serve him round the clock, and it was very one sided. I felt like a prisoner in my own home - a slave to baby, dishes and laundry - not to mention my new gross body.   

   

The first 6 weeks were the hardest, and I cried a few times, and there were a couple of days when I thought I might lose my mind. (being overwhelmed & sleep deprived will do that).   

   

Then he started to look at me. Then he smiled. Every week there was something new, and now it seems like everyday there's something new he's learning, doing or noticing. It's splendid - motherhood is the best job I've ever had!  

   

As for you ... what to do with your day? I don't know what motivates you, but I'll tell you what helped me.   

   

*GET OUT. Even once a week out with friends, shopping, running errands, garage saleing, whatever the reason - if I got out of the house and spent time with another grown-up, I didn't feel so chained to baby. Until he was 2 1/2 months old, I would get someone to watch him for 2 hrs a week just so I could run errands.   

*NAP. When he sleeps, you can sleep too. (and should at least during one of baby's naps)   

*EXERCISE. Get a video, walk, join a gym, whatever works best for you. Eating well and exercising will help you feel better, and will help those extra pounds drop off.   

*DON'T WORRY. The house doesn't need to be perfect, the meals don't have to be exquisite. The most important thing is that you're mentally, physically and emotionally fit. Can't take care of baby if you're falling apart with stress.  

*DO STUFF!! If you're worried about becoming lazy, the key is to be active. Boredom is exhausting. Keep your head busy with planning (baby plans, schedule plans, house, garden, visiting, excursions, dates, whatever) Take time to do stuff just for you. Just once a day ignore the dishes and laundry, and phone a friend or scrapbook or write a poem or story. Draw or paint, plan your dream house, take a bubble bath. Whatever you enjoy(ed), you should still do it. Oh - keeping a journal (even monthly) of your feelings & changes as well as baby's changes will be helpful too. It will help you note your own progress. Then you can look back and see how far you've come - all of the problems you overcame, the way your baby is growing.  

   

It gets better - way better. Soon your son will smile at you, and become playful. He'll become much more interesting. That will help make it easier to 'hang out' with him. Also don't be afraid to leave him on the floor or in the swing or carseat by himself while you do stuff. Keep him in a place where he can see you if you like, but go on with your life. Life needn't end because of a baby. Besides - I think it's good for them to not be held all day every day. I hold my son, but he spends alot of time in a swing, carseat or on the floor playing with toys. I talk to him, and come and play with him while he's there so he knows I don't forget about him, but how else is he going to learn that being alone is okay, and playing with toys is fun? He won't learn that on my lap, and I don't get anything done that way either.   

   

Anywho, time to end this novel. Hope it helped.