Replies to '09/03 Who's the Evil-Doer?'

I had a wonderful mother-in-law. She was always truthful with me as well as helpful. She told me once that I was acting like a spoiled brat when my husband and I were arguing,which I was! I was 16 then and had been married only months. That was 43 years ago and we are still married. I still miss her today.She was an angel on earth. She said when she was in the hospital dying that she loved me like one of her daughters. We lost her quick,( 3 days). She had cancer.

I think that so many daughters-in-law view their husbands mothers as the enemy. I think so much of the time without any reason. They think it's the way they are supposed to veiw the M-I-L. 

I have one daughter-in-law that is that way. I did everything I could to let her know that I loved her and was glad to have her in our family. It didn't work. It has been over a year since I have seen my two grand-daughters and they live less than 10 miles away. I do blame my son for that because he could do something about it. He will come to see us but he never brings the girls. One day he will realize how wrong that was but it will be too late. They get to see the other grand-parents every day most of the time.

I have another daughter-in-law and I let her know that I am glad she's in our family. We give each other hugs before we leave. We talk on the phone . Go places together and laugh and cry together.We have a good relationship and my son or daughter-in-law make sure that when one set of grand parents see those precious children so do the other set of grand parents. I think  you need to work on the relationship to make a complete family. Sometimes it just won't work but each should try 100% to make a complete family.

If you know you have done everything you could do and the hate and blame is still there, you just may have to learn to live without them in your life. It's not easy but when it comes down to it ,You can't make someone love you.