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Replies to 'The Meaning of "Family"'
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September 9, 2007, 4:53 pm PDT
 Quote From: angelbear417 OH GOSH SUCH A LONG STORY.. MY MOTHER DIED WHEN I WAS 13. I HAVE A HALF SISTER, SHE GREW UP WITH HER DAD. WELL AFTER MY MOMS DEATH I WENT FROM FOSTER HOME TO FOSTER HOME, WHEN I TURNED 18 WENT ON MY OWN. TOOK A COUPLE WRONG TURNS DOWN THE ROAD BUT MADE A U-TURN. HAD TO WANTED CHILDREN AND WANTED TO BE A GREAT MOM. MY BOYS FATHER WAS BAD I LEFT HIM, HE ENDED UP IN JAIL NOT SOON AFTER. NOW I AM SO HAPPY TWO SONS A HUSBAND ...EVERYTHING PERFECT. BUT NOW, I FIND OUT AFTER 6 YEARS OF NOT TALKING TO MY SISTER THAT SHE IS A DRUG ADDICT. SHE LOST HER CHILDREN. TWO IN WHICH ARE LIVING WITH MY SISTERS DRUNK ALL THE TIME FATHER THE OTHER MAJOR HEALTH PROBLEMS AND IN A FOSTER HOME SOMEWHERE. THIS IS THE ACTUAL PROBLEM, MY OLDEST NIECE (13 YEARS OLD ) CALLS ME AND TOLD ME HER MOM HAS CALLED HER. THEY TALKED FOR HOURS AND THAT SHE WANTS TO COME LIVE WITH ME. SHE WILL DO WHATEVER I SAY , IN OTHER WARDS ME HAVING ANOTHER CHILD WITH ADULT ISSUES. SHE HAS STOLEN THINGS FROM HER FAMILY, SHE HAS SOLD HER BODY FOR MONEY AND DRUGS, SHE HAS A LONG LIST OF CRIMINAL RECORDS. SHE WANTS MY HELP BUT I HAVE TRIED TO HELP MY X BEFORE. I KNOW THAT YOU CAN'T HELP SOMEONE IF THEY DON'T WANT TO BE BUT SHE SAYS SHE WANTS TO BE. THIS IS MARYLAND I LIVE IN A SMALL QUIET TOWN AND SHE LIVES IN BALTIMORE CITY. BALTIMORE CITY IS REALLY BAD. I JUST DON'T KNOW. I DO NOT WANT MY CHILDREN IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS. I DON'T WANT THE CHILDREN TO BE AROUND ANY DRAMA OF THIS. BUT AT THE SAME TIME I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE MY SISTER, ALSO I HAVE NOT TALKED TO HER IN YEARS OR SEEN HER. I KNOW HOW SICK PEOPLE CAN BE, THIS COULD BE A TRAP YOU KNOW, MAYBE RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO GET MONEY...I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF SHE WENT TO THE REHAB SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO GO TO OR MAYBE EVEN RAN FROM IT IN THE MIDDLE. I DO NOT KNOW ...WHAT WOULD YOU DO..PLEASE HELP.
My story is similar to yours. I just posted mine tonight, maybe you should read it(juspeachy91), so I am not going to get into my story, but I have a nephew that I have just bee though some of the same issues and now he wants to move back in. Please read my post.
Anyway, if you are married, you and your husband need to be in total agreement on this because it will most likely be a difficult process. You also have to think about your own children, because alot of your time will be spent on this teenage girl which is time taken away from your own children. Most of all, set up definate ground rules. As mothers, we often see a child that is need and we want to help them all but sometimes it is not possible. You may want to tell her that he has to go to rehab first and get her set up in therapy/group meetings and make it a requirement that she attend if she is to live with you.
I would like to talk with you somemore. I live in PA, not far from the MD border, probably not very far from you. Good Luck |
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