Replies to 'How I Got Help'

Although right now it is difficult or next to impossible to believe, there really is hope.  If you just started your meds while in the hospital, you may not feel them kick-in for up to six weeks.  A very long six weeks for you, but try to challenge yourself to make it.  Also, it might (or might not) take a little while to find the right medicine or combination of medications (often referred to as a "cocktail" of meds) in order to get yourself back to "normal" and be stable there.  I tell you this, not to discourage you, but 1) to be honest about what could be in store and 2) to hopefully give you hope that there IS help and lots of it.  Another key is to be sure you feel absolutely comfortable with your mental health care providers...people you trust and feel completely comfortable being down-to-the-core honest telling them exactly what you're feeling and issues you need to deal with.  Throughout my treatment for major depression, I have had a few psychiatrists and feel very blessed to have found the one (psychiatrist) who fits my personality and what I need to a T.  He is wonderful and it hurts me (really!) that everyone who suffers from the depths of depression pain can't see this man.  He's wonderful.  He knows A LOT about medication.  He will not over-medicate.  He listens to you whole-heartedly.  Where do you find an MD who cares this much for his patients? 

Also, if you are not comfortable with your current therapist, I recommend looking for a social worker.  This was huge for me.  They have SO MANY resources in the community who can also help you.

I know this sounds like a lot of work.  I hope I'm not being overwhelming.  They say take it "day by day", but sometimes it's better to begin with minute-by-minute and work yourself up. 

I really hope I have been encouraging and have not scared you.  From personal experience, which is all I have to offer, it has been a very, very long road for me (many hospitalizations, etc.).  The hope I have to offer is that even in the depths of pain and suicide attempts, there was fight in me.  I did not want to die, I wanted to find a reason(s) to live and that's why I have come so far.  I realize when you're that low, it's next to impossible to find anything to want to live for, but by you're not being successful in your attempt, you and God (no offense intended) want to give you another chance...and perhaps more than one chance.  But keep in mind, you have people like me who care.  Reach out when you want to.  HANG ON!!

God Bless You,

Ellen

(PS  I'm a Christian, but not a religioius freak so please don't feel threatened or uncomfortable with me.