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Replies to 'Living Together'
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February 20, 2006, 3:03 pm PST
 Quote From: leahbel Hello Everyone, I am asking for advice and opinions for a really tough situation. My girlfriend and I have been together for nearly 3 years. We originally met in Boston where we lived at the time. During that time I met her parents when they flew in from So. Cal where she is from. Since then I have relocated back to Las Vegas and my GF has followed me here, that was 1.5 years ago and we now live together for about the last 10 months. It is going great and we couldnt be happier. Here is the problem, my family lives here in Vegas so they have gotten to know my gf very very well and love her dearly, Her parents live in So. Cal and well, have only met me twice. My gf flew her mother in to stay with us for 4 days a few months ago and the woman was very rude and really seemed to dislike me during her stay here. Needless to say the issue is this. Her daughter ( my gf) would love for her parents to come and visit us here in Vegas, but recently she asked her parents to come and visit and her mom simply said no and would not elaborate more. I am more than willing to go there as long as I know I am welcome but I will not impose. Her mother never talks or asks about me to my gf and when she does she will not refer to me by name. she simply says "your loved one". I hate seeing my gf get upset that her mom is so rude and doesnt want to visit or see her. I dont know what her deal is but I sincerely think she doesnt like me. When she stayed with us I was more than accomodating and gave her every opportunity to get to know me better, but she just ignored me the entire time. I feel that I have gone half way and have made it more that clear that MY door is always open to her mother and the rest of her family. I do not want to be the reason my gf does not have a good relationship with her mom but honestly, I dont really care what her mom thinks about me. I just want to know what her deal is so I can try to bridge this gap. Any thoughts would be appreciated! you might not care for my advice on this one but here it goes. i would call her mother and ask her if you have done something that might have offended her. it sounds like it's not you but it's a good way to approach the subject, i've found humility to be helpful. i don't know how her mother will respond but i would tell her mom this: i love your daughter and would be honored if you would come and visit. i would gently point out your perception of the situation with graciousness. maybe she will respond when she sees how important it is to you. i know that confrontations like that are difficult at best but sometimes they are also the most rewarding. i know that you tried to be accomodating when she was with you but i think sometimes direct confrontation seasoned with humility can also humble the other person. cheers! let me know ,if you decide this plan of action to be suitable , how it turns out. |
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