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October 5, 2005, 10:58 pm PDT
Living Together
Quote From: lori80Hello Everyone! I've just signed up today in hopes of seeking some advice. I am a 25 year old female living with a 24 year old male. I've been with this person for over 8 years now (since I was 16 years old). We have a 14 month old son now and this is why I am seeking advice. I'll try and make a long story short. Recenlty, I have asked my boyfriend to stop smoking marijuana for the sake of being more family productive. Since I've asked him to stop moking marijuana, he has actually made a positive progress (attending GED classes Monday through Friday and obtaining a full-time job). However, I know he has continued to smoke marijuana outside of home and has done many things to hide his use. I have confronted him on several occasions and he has continued to deny his marijuana use. I am currently a Masters of Social Work student and feel that I should have more control of this situation. I am concerned for my son's father and would like my son to have a positive role model in life. I know and admit that I have not made a strong effort to confront this issue and I realize that I need to start somewhere and to so soon! If I were to ask my boyfriend to leave, he would have no place to go. Please give me any advice and suggestions on how i can handle this issue? I too just signed up for some advice and trust me it helps. I also had a drug problem and people in my life wanted me to quit. I can tell you though nagging or hassling him about it is not going to help. The best thing to do is talk to him. Honestly tell him everything you said in your letter. Tell him how it is more for your son than anything. Ask if this is the life he would want his son to live? Try to get through to him without putting him down or making him feel bad about it. Compliment him and tell him you are proud that he is putting the effort in but let him know you are not so naive as to believe that he is completely drug free. Help him as much as possible with the help that he needs and more than anything just be there for him to talk to, don't push him away because of his problem, and remember it is a problem, I am sure that if he is trying to quit he does not want to do it. Good luck!
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