Replies to 'Ready for Marriage?'

Your number one priority should be you. You should follow your passion in life because if you do not you will regret this in the future. The fact that you are obtaining a graduate degree is FANTASTIC. I commend you for reaching out to this level of education. Furthermore, your education you must complete first because it will provide you with financial security if things do not workout in the long run between the two of you. After you finish your education, seek positions with a TOP NOTCH company or a medium tier company so you will have financial independence. Once you have reached this point then you should talk about getting married. In the interim the two of you should try to build a solid foundation in your relationship by becoming best friends so your marriage is much stronger when you do decide to get married. I believe you are on the right track by placing your education first. Remember, your education can NEVER be taken away from you , whereas, .relationships and marriages come and go. Take a look at the marital statistics that should give you an idea of why it is important to wait. I believe structuring and positioning yourself by obtaining your graduate degree and seeking a position with a TOP NOTCH company or a medium tier company will be proven in the long run a successfully path for you to take in the long run.

You really must be honest with yourself and him. I would recommend you taking some private time to reflect onto your relationship and decide if this guy is the one for you. Be honest with yourself to determine why you are having reservations on marrying him. May be you might be afraid of the actual steps of marriage or their may be deeper reasons that you have not figured out yet. If this guy is the right guy for you then you should sit down and have a one on one conversation regarding your reservations on jumping in and getting married. Also, you should explain to him that he needs to be understanding of your feelings by not placing any pressure on you to marry him and you need to be understanding about his feelings as well. Remember, when involved in a relationship you must consider the other persons feelings. In order to be successful with difference you must learn to compromise by coming up with a solution to your problems. So address each others needs and come to a solution. Furthermore, tell him he will be the first to know when the time is right. Trust me, you will feel it when the time is right.

At the moment you life should be about balancing all that you have going on in your life equally. In order to be successful in life you must learn to have balance in your life meaning your education, family, boyfriends, finance, religion, exercise, etc. Therefore, I recommend that you take the time out to balance all your life by allocating percentages to each given category and sticking with them. This will allow you to have a more consistent life. I must mention to you further, if you are planning on attending a graduate program such as medical school or law school or business school you really need to be with a person who can give you the time/space to dedicate to your specific study program demands. Once you enter this level of program I can guarantee you will not be able to succeed with many distractions. Graduate degrees are very demanding of one’s time. Therefore, you will need to remain focused on your studies if you want to be successful in the program. I believe you are on the right track by placing your education as a priority then later deciding to have children when the time permits. As we all know children are a lot of responsibility and deserve to be raised up with their mommy and daddy when the time permits. There is need to rush especially since your clock is not ticking. You are young enough to place children on hold. J

I have to disagree with the statement that age, school and whether you have jobs are irrelevant. Contrary to his beliefs these listed factors are very important to the growth of your lives. You must place yourself in a secured position before jumping into a marriage with children. The lack of financial stability can add a tremendous amount of stress on your lives. The fact that you are continuing your education is FANTASTIC. J I firmly believe that with a graduate degree you will advance much further in life than those who do not have this level of degree. Remember if your time permits you should try to apply for a position in the field of interest to gain front amongst your peers. To make yourself standout amongst your peers try to seek TOP companies in the industry. The practical work related experiences you gain outside the level of education you are seeking will put you ahead amongst your peers. You are absolutely right by taking these above mentioned factors into consideration because they are of an importance to building a successful relationship. Remember, not having or obtaining stability in your life and the lack of financial security with children will only add additional stress to your relationship/marriage that you do not need while attending a graduate program. It is not a great combination.

All the best,

LegalCounselGP