Dr. Phil.com - Messageboards - Replies to 09/21 Does Age Matter?

User Mood
Happy

Message Emote

September 15, 2007, 6:22 pm PDT

09/21 Does Age Matter?

Quote From: bobingram

My wife, who is 17 years old than I am, have been married 28 years (been together 30) and our marriage is a strong partnership that grows stronger every day. Just 3 years ago on our 25th anniversary we renewed our vows and had the same wedding party - it was great. My wife retired 19 years ago, however she has continued to work until the last 3 years. If she had her way she would keep working. I have 4 years to go to retirement. We both look forward to the time we can spent together. The point is: We enjoy each other, have fun, do things together ... it is all about caring, trusting, sharing and having fun. Dr. Phil, neither of us would trade this for anything. We have 7 kids between us, 14 grandkids, 15 great-grandkids and the family grows each year (well almost). People commented that the marriage wouldn't last 6 months, but we are still happily married after 28 years. It really doesn't matter what other people think. what does matter is what is in your heart and your relationship with your love one. No one that I know of says anything about our age. We still get invited to functions. We are treated as a couple - happily married couple that is. It just does not matter.

I totally agree. "It is all about caring, trusting, sharing and having fun. " And most importantly, respect.
There is a little over 15 years age difference between my husband and myself. He is 36 and I am 52. Most people we meet for the first time would never think that we are not just a couple years apart in age because we are a good match. We like each other. He thinks I am intelligent, beautiful and hillarious, and I think he is the cleverest man I know. We have six children between us; including four of mine from a previous marriage. We celebrated 12 years married this summer, and look forward to at least 60 more together.
We faced some resistance from his mother and grandmother in the beginning (his father had already passed away), and I was initially uncertain, no, even terrified of what was happening. I did not want to harm our children, his family or our church community with our relationship, so we tried to be very careful how we pursued it in the beginning.
It comes down to the two individuals and their families and their community.
I

Read Replies to this Message

risktker40

User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
happy

September 21, 2007, 8:07 am PDT

09/21 Does Age Matter?

Quote From: bobingram

My wife, who is 17 years old than I am, have been married 28 years (been together 30) and our marriage is a strong partnership that grows stronger every day. Just 3 years ago on our 25th anniversary we renewed our vows and had the same wedding party - it was great. My wife retired 19 years ago, however she has continued to work until the last 3 years. If she had her way she would keep working. I have 4 years to go to retirement. We both look forward to the time we can spent together. The point is: We enjoy each other, have fun, do things together ... it is all about caring, trusting, sharing and having fun. Dr. Phil, neither of us would trade this for anything. We have 7 kids between us, 14 grandkids, 15 great-grandkids and the family grows each year (well almost). People commented that the marriage wouldn't last 6 months, but we are still happily married after 28 years. It really doesn't matter what other people think. what does matter is what is in your heart and your relationship with your love one. No one that I know of says anything about our age. We still get invited to functions. We are treated as a couple - happily married couple that is. It just does not matter.

thank you for saying it so well, my wife and I are also 17 years difference and have been marriewd for 18 years and have known each other 28 years. i think Dr. Phil is wrong in stating that this type of marriage wont work. We are very happy and even tho we have problems we work them out as adults. we also get invited as a couple to do things and people say we are a joy to be around. yes even tho her children were not sure we would make it we now have an excellant relationship with her kids.

Read Replies to this Message

mamma_brun

User Mood
Happy

Message Emote

September 21, 2007, 2:02 pm PDT

09/21 Does Age Matter?

Quote From: bobingram

My wife, who is 17 years old than I am, have been married 28 years (been together 30) and our marriage is a strong partnership that grows stronger every day. Just 3 years ago on our 25th anniversary we renewed our vows and had the same wedding party - it was great. My wife retired 19 years ago, however she has continued to work until the last 3 years. If she had her way she would keep working. I have 4 years to go to retirement. We both look forward to the time we can spent together. The point is: We enjoy each other, have fun, do things together ... it is all about caring, trusting, sharing and having fun. Dr. Phil, neither of us would trade this for anything. We have 7 kids between us, 14 grandkids, 15 great-grandkids and the family grows each year (well almost). People commented that the marriage wouldn't last 6 months, but we are still happily married after 28 years. It really doesn't matter what other people think. what does matter is what is in your heart and your relationship with your love one. No one that I know of says anything about our age. We still get invited to functions. We are treated as a couple - happily married couple that is. It just does not matter.

Dr.Phil...you always say there are two sides to everything..."no matter how flat a pancake"! I know that you do not approve of relationships with such a gap in age, and I have noticed that you have shows about the trouble these types of relationships go through. Why not do a show about relationships that are loving, thriving, respectful and successful? I am 24 and my husband is 44, and our relationship has never suffered because of our age difference. In fact we have a wonderful 18 month old daughter, and another child on the way. We have gone through difficult times just as any married couple. And after reading the message board there many stories about successful and loving relationship with a major age gap.

My husband and I love each other very much, and our marriage grows stronger with each passing day. He is very caring, attentive, and respectful not only as a husband, but also as a father. I see myself as an equal in his eyes, and we do not argue the way Chris and Adrianne do. Their relationship seems to suffer not because of the age gap, but because of their individual personalities. I'm sure they would have problems with relationships no matter the age of their partners.

Read Replies to this Message

spikesmom2686

User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
ecstatic

September 21, 2007, 3:18 pm PDT

You Make me happy

Quote From: bobingram

My wife, who is 17 years old than I am, have been married 28 years (been together 30) and our marriage is a strong partnership that grows stronger every day. Just 3 years ago on our 25th anniversary we renewed our vows and had the same wedding party - it was great. My wife retired 19 years ago, however she has continued to work until the last 3 years. If she had her way she would keep working. I have 4 years to go to retirement. We both look forward to the time we can spent together. The point is: We enjoy each other, have fun, do things together ... it is all about caring, trusting, sharing and having fun. Dr. Phil, neither of us would trade this for anything. We have 7 kids between us, 14 grandkids, 15 great-grandkids and the family grows each year (well almost). People commented that the marriage wouldn't last 6 months, but we are still happily married after 28 years. It really doesn't matter what other people think. what does matter is what is in your heart and your relationship with your love one. No one that I know of says anything about our age. We still get invited to functions. We are treated as a couple - happily married couple that is. It just does not matter.

All I was gonna say but you said it so much better is
Michael Douglas is 24 years older than Catherine Zeta Jones not much of a child molester out cry there.
etc etc etc.

Also with the climate in this world now war etc Who are we to judge ANYONE else. 18 is old enough to go to war and get killed , but not old enough to sleep with whomever one wants get real!!!! Do you really think all the "kids" that enlisted in the war knew what they were getting into??? I think not. Yet it was sanctioned by the american people and still by the US Government. Can you say hypocrits?????

Read Replies to this Message

Message Boards

Replies to '09/21 Does Age Matter?'

09/21 Does Age Matter?

09/21 Does Age Matter?

09/21 Does Age Matter?

You Make me happy