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Replies to '09/21 Does Age Matter?'
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September 21, 2007, 11:03 am PDT
 Quote From: katnip5573 My son is 22 and his female boss at work came onto him. Now 2 years later they live together which makes me ill. She has a son 1 yr younger than my son and just had her first grandbaby. More than anything it is embarrassing to me as a parent that he has chosen this woman. Before this he was in college and lived off campus with his girlfriend who dumped him when she graduated. He left college, came home, got a job and was vunerable to her sexual advances. He says he feels sorry for her, they really have nothing in common accept his paycheck. She has serious past history of money woes, bankruptcy and 3 ex husbands. They fight continuely and he has moved out several times. This last time he didn't take anything but his clothes back with him. She has him so woven in her web he will not listen to us so we have just thrown up our hands as parents, my husband says one day he will come to his senses and wonder " what was I thinking."
I am so sorry for what is happening with your son. It must be very heartbreaking to watch. I can understand why you are embarassed and by a grandmother on top of it all. Keep staying strong with your husband and take care of your marriage.
How dare these older women manipulate a young man like that. I am an attractive 38 yr old wife who stayed home with the kids. My youngest is now 15 so I work part-time in the building supplies industry. (I love renovations). I am flirted with, daily, by men of all ages. I was kind of shocked to find a lot of young guys sure seem interested - maybe because of the whole M.I.L.F. thing... since American Pie - I don't know. I'm married (17 years - together 20), and happily I might add, to a guy 10 months older..... BUT If I was single I would NEVER EVER consider such a young person. How disgusting. We are the adults here and we know better. Its basically abuse, to me. Now as a person matures and gets older, age differences aren't such a big deal, but not when you are still a teenager/early 20's and a young adult. HOW SICK. And it is up to the adult to put a stop to it - stop being so selfish and think about the consequences LONG TERM for the "child" you are messing with. |
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September 22, 2007, 4:10 am PDT
Quote From: katnip5573 My son is 22 and his female boss at work came onto him. Now 2 years later they live together which makes me ill. She has a son 1 yr younger than my son and just had her first grandbaby. More than anything it is embarrassing to me as a parent that he has chosen this woman. Before this he was in college and lived off campus with his girlfriend who dumped him when she graduated. He left college, came home, got a job and was vunerable to her sexual advances. He says he feels sorry for her, they really have nothing in common accept his paycheck. She has serious past history of money woes, bankruptcy and 3 ex husbands. They fight continuely and he has moved out several times. This last time he didn't take anything but his clothes back with him. She has him so woven in her web he will not listen to us so we have just thrown up our hands as parents, my husband says one day he will come to his senses and wonder " what was I thinking."
With such money and relationship problems, your son sounds as if he might me more mature than she is. My objection wouldn't be to their age but more to the fact that she is obviously immature and a manipulative user (probably was with her 3 ex husbands too, which is most likely why they aren't with her). These kind of people exist at every age level, just like sensitive caring people exist at every age level (the ones the users take advantage of) I think your husband is almost right. Your son will come to his senses one day. I don't know your son but some people don't learn too quickly, if at all from these types of relationships. Not everyone is like that, though sometimes it might seem like it. I think it's probably a good thing if you let him know that this woman isn't the only person like this in the world, and (when their relationship is over) to see if he is interested in discussing with you what he might think were the warning signs from the get go, why type of woman might make him happy in his life and what are the signs of that type of woman (besides the obvious cliches.) When one is that young, one doesn't really have a good grip on users and manipulators, but might think that they are really just people down on their luck and temporarily in need. Even when one gets older, it can be hard to tell the difference. I don't know what his other girlfriends were like, but some people attracted, and are attracted to, users and manipulators. For myself, when a boyfriend (or even a female friend) starts asking me to borrow or give them money, my hackles rise really high and I start looking for signs from them of bad stuff. The last one lasted a month and I tossed him to the curb. This is because I've had experiences with these kind of people before and know the signs. Still even older people get taken advantage of. |
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