Replies to '03/06 Etiquette Dilemmas'

 
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September 15, 2007, 6:56 pm PDT

Etiquette

Quote From: sallyky

I would like to speak on the topics of cell phones and manners at the table. First, it really irks me when I'm sitting at a meal time and someone has their cell phone turned on and he or she thinks it's so important to answer the thing during that time and then sit there having a conversation with someone else and I've been trying to talk to them. I've been out with friends that are constantly answering their phones whether it's in the automobile, restuarants, shopping, etc. I can understand if they're expecting an important phone call, emergency whatever.

Second, manners at the table is important to me. One thing that comes to mind that use to really set my nerves on edge was when my stepson would make so much noise with his fork and knife. Example: if we were having eggs for breakfast, no matter how they were fixed, he'd take his fork and beat the plate chopping the eggs up into mush. You could hear the clatter 2 rooms away from the kitchen. I found a remedy for that, I bought paper plates and made him use them. Another thing was when I fried chicken he'd take the skin off and throw it on the floor. Needless to say I never took him out to eat. I think people need to be polite no matter where they are. There's no excuse for rudeness.

I am right with you.  I have found with some people a quick solution.  If you are having a conversation with another person and they choose to answer their phone during the conversation, I become quiet. When they finish with the call and ask me okay what were you saying, I inform them - Nothing important.  It is amazing because they suddenly realize they were rude.  It has worked on 4 of my friends so far.  I started this with my husband. 

 

Manners are a reflection of courtesy to one another.  It is civilized and decent. 

 

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September 15, 2007, 11:08 pm PDT

cell phones and eating out

Quote From: sallyky

I would like to speak on the topics of cell phones and manners at the table. First, it really irks me when I'm sitting at a meal time and someone has their cell phone turned on and he or she thinks it's so important to answer the thing during that time and then sit there having a conversation with someone else and I've been trying to talk to them. I've been out with friends that are constantly answering their phones whether it's in the automobile, restuarants, shopping, etc. I can understand if they're expecting an important phone call, emergency whatever.

Second, manners at the table is important to me. One thing that comes to mind that use to really set my nerves on edge was when my stepson would make so much noise with his fork and knife. Example: if we were having eggs for breakfast, no matter how they were fixed, he'd take his fork and beat the plate chopping the eggs up into mush. You could hear the clatter 2 rooms away from the kitchen. I found a remedy for that, I bought paper plates and made him use them. Another thing was when I fried chicken he'd take the skin off and throw it on the floor. Needless to say I never took him out to eat. I think people need to be polite no matter where they are. There's no excuse for rudeness.

I agree with you about people using the phone when eating out. It is rude as all get out. If you have to get on the phone, I believe you should excuse yourself, but only for a short time.  I was so upset one day by someone close to me when we went out to eat.  A family member of ours calls all the time, esp when they know certain times are not good. but the person I was with refuses not to answer their call.  Well, he got up and went to the foyer or the restaurant we were in and left me to eat along.  I thought ok, I will go ahead and eat.  It was a buffet and I took my time. 20 mins. later after several tea refills etc.. I was finished. So I got up and walked right past the person and was walking out the door as they noticed and I heard him say, hey wait where are you going?  I said Home!!  I am finished!  We were in separate vehicles.  Well, later I get several calls and refused to answer.  Things like I cannot believe you left the table, they cleared it and I had to start all over etc...etc..  were on my voicemail .   I refused to answer as I said. I went on and did some shopping we had planned to do together and I only got things for myself and the rest of my family.  The person was very angry with me. I told him, you had no right to be angry with me, you are the one that left the table to talk about the same old junk you have to talk about everyday etc... This was suppose to be our time together etc...  Now I REFUSE to go eat with him unless he leaves his cell phone in the vehicle. I keep mine on me just in case one of the children (13-18) has a Real problem and has to call (his choice).  In case you are wondering, it was my hubbie and the caller was his MOTHER!!  (She works at his business and they are together more hours a week than we are) .  She was really upset when he would not answer the calls, it is like I told him, it is me, or the calls!!  Which would you rather have in home in bed with you each night? Well, he chose me!!  After 29 years of marriage, he has finally put some limits on his rude mom!!  I am a Motherinlaw to,  and I always respect my daughter in laws times with their husbands. I make it a point to leave them alone. I told them from the beginning, if you need me call.  Otherwise I will leave you along and will not be a nosey obnoxious person in your life.  To say the least my daughterinlaws and myself are best buddies.  But to say the least this has improved my marriage greatly!! 
We are acting like newlyweds again, but alot more mature ones !  I wish I had done what I did years ago !!

I had to add this, tonight we were at a buffet again and there was a man with a wife and two children and someone called. He was so obnoxious and rude. His children were about 2 & 4.  Anytime they said his name he would be rude and say hush real loud.  His wife was in tears.  Finally her and the children were through and after about 10 more mins. She walked out to the foyer, but sat on a bench with her children and just waited.  I felt so sorry for her.  I wanted to say something , but the way her husband acted with anger towards the children, I felt he just might be an abuser  !! 
ANyway to all you people that do this kind of stuff to your families etc.. it is rude and if you are in an eating place, you deserve to get left !!!
 
 
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September 18, 2007, 8:26 pm PDT

Too True

Quote From: sallyky

I would like to speak on the topics of cell phones and manners at the table. First, it really irks me when I'm sitting at a meal time and someone has their cell phone turned on and he or she thinks it's so important to answer the thing during that time and then sit there having a conversation with someone else and I've been trying to talk to them. I've been out with friends that are constantly answering their phones whether it's in the automobile, restuarants, shopping, etc. I can understand if they're expecting an important phone call, emergency whatever.

Second, manners at the table is important to me. One thing that comes to mind that use to really set my nerves on edge was when my stepson would make so much noise with his fork and knife. Example: if we were having eggs for breakfast, no matter how they were fixed, he'd take his fork and beat the plate chopping the eggs up into mush. You could hear the clatter 2 rooms away from the kitchen. I found a remedy for that, I bought paper plates and made him use them. Another thing was when I fried chicken he'd take the skin off and throw it on the floor. Needless to say I never took him out to eat. I think people need to be polite no matter where they are. There's no excuse for rudeness.

     I have a similar pet peeve with cell phones.  My husband and I were surprised by a visit from his father and his new wife.  Unfortunately it was our 15th anniversary and we had made dinner plans for the evening.  After much effort, and at the last minute, we were able to change the restaurant to suite her "special diet needs", and went out for a celebratory dinner with them.  She talked over the waiter the whole time he tried to tell us the specials of the day, and then made him repeat them when he tried to leave.  She made several phone calls during the meal, and spoke so loudly other diners began shooting us dirty looks.  (This was a four star french restaurant, which she insisted on).  She tried to order every appetizer on the menu "just to try it", and when the dessert menu came, she tried to do the same.  My father in law spent the whole evening trying to rein her in, while my husband and I were feeling more and more annoyed that she was dominating and ruining our special evening.  Then, with after dinner drinks she tried to order a bottle of Dom!  And the real corker, when the check came, we paid for the entire meal!

My mother has a horrible habit of going around talking on her phone while doing everything.  She'll shop, check out, order lunch, etc.  You never know really who she is talking to!  And I have a friend who is a check out girl at a local specialty grocery store.  She says people blatantly ignore her all the time while talking on the phone.  She and I both think it is really rude.  If I receive an important call while checking out somewhere, I answer the call, but quickly say I am at the check out and will call them back in five minutes.  I also appologize to the clerk and let them know it was an important call I was waiting on. 
 


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