Replies to 'Divorce Support'

My husband and I have been married for 4 years. I became aware of his drug addiction a year into the marriage. I was there for him through his so called detox and relapses. Little did I know - that he never quit. It's caused a lot of heartache on our relationship. I used to trust him, but now I can't. It's only been a 6 weeks since he quit for sure, but now he's drinking more everyday. We've never had a chance to work on our marriage because we've always worked on him and what he was going through. I've been waiting for our turn together. I feel that I've been there for him, but he's never there for me. He doesn't take my feelings seriously. He doesn't get that all this has taken a tole on me emotionally and I need compassion and sincerity from him. I always try to tell him what's bothering me, but he doesn't get it. He bypasses my feelings and talks about his. He's not willing to get counseling to help us. He thinks we can do it by ourselves. I think we could, but what we're doing isn't working. We argue all the time when I bring up how I feel. So this tells me that he doesn't care too much. I've lost respect for this man, and I'm loosing my feelings of love for him. He comes home drunk, and last night he didn't come home at all cause of an arguement that we had. The fight was about telling him what I needed from him once again. He didn't want to hear it especially on his day off. He would rather drink and have a good time. I feel I've been good to him. I've loved him through his worst, I've stood beside him through his addiction, and I've waited for us to have a better relationship. But, nothing's changed in that aspect of our lives. I am almost 35 years old. I was ready to settle down when I was 18. I've waited for so much. I cry everyday, I'm stressed everyday, I wonder everyday what I should do. My husband is so stubborn. He won't give in to anything. He's so always trying to be right. I feel like he could care less if I was here or not because he doesn't show me any kind of compassion. Maybe I can't get over the fact that he's been on drugs for 10 years. We've never discussed how it made me feel that he was hiding it from me. We've always discussed how he feels when he's on or off of them. I pray for help everyday, but I don't know how to get it. I thought maybe if I was just to shut up about it all that things would get better. It's a heaviness that inside my heart weighing me down. When you want something so bad and you've tried everything to get it and it all fails-what do you do? I cry in my bedroom and he just walks by me like he pretended not to see me crying. I tell him that all he has to do is talk to me about how I feel and maked me feel loved by him, but he doesn't. He'll fight to be right, but not fight for us. What do I do?