Replies to 'Troubled Teens'

My daughter is bipolar and was a cutter. 

  

She used rubber bands to help stop cutting. She wore the rubber bands and whenever she woudl get th eurge to cut she would simply snap the rubber bands... they woudl sting and leave a little pain but no bleeding and scars to worry about. 

  

For her cutting was to relieve the pain she felt on the inside. She always said it was easier to deal with physical pain than emotional pain. I hope your son can come terms with what is bothering him. Does he have a special education plan to help him get through school? My daughter did a lot better once we had that in place to help her deal with her bipolar.   

  

Please try the rubber bands for your son. It really helped my daughter to stop cutting. Whenever she is stressed she just puts on a band and it makes her feel better.  

  

I hope this helps.   

Tammy 

Hey. I was hoping I could add a bit of light to this situation. I'm sixteen, I've been dealing with depression, mild OCD and anxiety problems and turned to cutting about five years ago. The reason I did it was because it was something I could control. God bless my family, but it was something that they couldn't touch (they've always been extremely over-protective). I remember times getting so angry, and knowing I couldn't express it because 'you can't make waves' and all that, that I took it out on myself rather than speaking up for myself.  

  

Not to say you do, but don't treat your son like he's crazy or a freak. I understand how painful this is for parents, but I know at the time I felt like my actions were only affecting me. It's my body, my time, you know. I still have the urge to cut and cause other harm to myself (I leaned towards burning a lot of the time) and have relapsed. It's like any other addiction. Good luck, and I'll keep you two in my thoughts.  

With some teens, it's become a trend...which is sad that it might start out that way, and then they might get addicted.  Because I know from past experience that is addicting, and it's really hard to get out of once you've started.  If you're the boy's parent(which I assume you are), consider yourself somewhat fortunate that you know about your son...especially if he had the courage to tell you himself.  It's a very secretive thing, and most cutters don't want anyone to know at all...even their best friends.  I would talk to him about it, and there's a lot of ways that you can help...suggest outlets, such as if he enjoys art or some kind of sport.  Maybe suggest writing in a notebook, even though it might seem stupid to him.  If he's gotten himself out of past activities that he used to enjoy, that might be a big part of it.  Try and get him back into it.  It's what helped me! 

  

Hope I could help. 

Lots of hugs. 

     I can tell you that for me until I reached college at age 20 something, I thought I was not normal. I found a book in the College library about cutting, grabbed it and read the entire thing sitting there in shock that there was others like me. Cutting from what I'm told releases endorphins in the brain which in turn helps to calm the person who is doing the cutting. It may be that because your son has add/adhd that he has to have rules and structure that seem unbearable to him and the cutting may make him feel like he is leveling out for a brief period. I know that may sound really unreasonable for some people because they don't have this problem and I'm sure there may be a solution too it but, I was in all kinds of programs and had all the counselors and still nothing changed in my life until I got older. I still fight with the urge to cut everytime a very bad problem happens in my world and sometimes I have to even stop putting silverware away when I'm feeling rejected, hurt or not in control of bad stituations in life. I don't think there is an answer for this one because I still live with it and no one really new until few years ago, thats when it slowed down because I could talk to friends about it. I think if he knows you know and you talk openly and explain that you know he does and for what reasons, maybe you both can talk about other ways to make him feel that sensation without instruments in his hand. I hope this is helpful to you and your son just know that he may not even know why he really does this yet.