Quote From: ratatatI'm just looking for advice from the perspective of a parent. See, I have just turned 18 and feel that my parents are not treating me like a young adult. I am a senior in high school, earn a B average and take advanced classes. Though I am not at the top of my class, I do assume responsibilities in school. Yet I am not allowed out past ten on weekends, 8 on school nights, and can only drive my car to and from school. As soon as I get to school I have to call my mom to tell her I made it there ok. Their over protection has cost me a relationship with a boy I really liked, and because I am currently grounded, I don't get to see my friends. It's starting to take a toll on my emotional health and I'm losing my appetite. I can't concentrate in class. I have had plans to go out of state for a weekend next month but I am not allowed to because they believe the friend I am going with is "a bad influence". This friend does not do drugs, does not force me to cave into peer pressure. She has been with me through the difficult times of high school and we are really considering moving in together when we go to college locally next year.
I will probably not go away next month just because I am determined to fix the deteriorating relationship with my parents. But I know it will just cause me more unhappiness because I am not doing and expierencing things my age people should get to. I have tried talking calmly but they don't take into consideration much of what I have to say. If things are not patched up soon I will make the difficult decision of moving into my friend's house until we can financially afford an apartment in the spring.
I know this was long and a load of words that don't seem worth listening to, but I am hanging by my last thread and just want to be happy without jeopardizing my relationship with my parents.
Above all else it seems you realize your parents love you. Good start. Assuming you have a working relationship with your parents it might be possible to sit with them and negotiate a contract to effect the changes that you would like to see. An example might be: For one week I will call home everyday but one when I get to school. If that goes well, the next week make it 2 days that you do not call. Find their comfort level until you wean them from the arrival calls.
How well do you parents know the "bad influence" friend? Have the friend over to the house now and again. Let your parents get to know this friend and judge for themselves. I did the same for my son but, sadly, we were not disappointed, his friend was as we thought.
I'm very proud of you for making the effort to comply with your parents wishes and seek help rather than act out and make bad choices with regard to your behavior. I hope that you find a middle of the road compromise for everyone involved.
BTW, keep up the good grades! Make good grades high on your priority list - it will be a good investment.
I'll be praying for you.
bsinger7
